How do you deal with disappointment and setbacks?

I recently got a phone call that dealt me an unexpected setback - to the tune of about $3,000. It affected my debt repayment schedule primarily, which has been a big focus of mine this year. Do I need to write that I was disappointed? I think we each face disappointment and setbacks on an occasional, if not regular basis. What to do? How to respond?


These are but a few thoughts on how to move through and move ahead anyway:


1) Guard your focus.


Don't spend inordinate amounts of time rehearsing the disappointment. It will kill your creativity and hope for life beyond. When you keep hope alive and look beyond the immediate obstacle, you rise above the obstacle that disappointed you and be able to see and chart a course to move ahead. My Pastor says, "You can't lay back in a setback." Well, you shouldn't anyway.


2) Adjust your plan.


This is why a plan is so important. If you have a plan there is action you can take against your disappointment. I am coordinating my third Financial Peace University class. We are working through Week 3 - Cash Flow Planning. It is foundational to the class, just like a plan is foundational to life. We are better able to navigate the waters of disappointment and setbacks if there is a plan. The setback can be addressed - adjust the plan to compensate. Now work the new plan. It makes it much smoother. With no plan, the setback causes chaos and debilitating disappointment. So if you don't have one, make one now!


3) Don't fret what you cannot change.


If we can get this one planted deep inside, our worry will diminish, peace will increase, and the disappointment will loose its power. Disappointment is tied to expectation and can be a powerful weapon against your future, your peace, and your success. It is why so much of our economy is tied to "consumer confidence." Especially at the start of difficult economic times, very little has fundamentally changed in people's lives. But as confidence wanes, people pull back, thus creating the very problem they fear. It's an interesting cycle. Don't let things out of your control rob you of peace, joy, and right-thinking.


4) Be thankful!


Motivational speaker, Bob Harrison, tells a story that has been a huge help to me when I am facing disappointment - and it relates back to #1. Years ago his marriage was in trouble and he was praying about his wife and complaining to God about the many ways she was falling short. God encouraged him to make a list of her good traits - the things he was thankful for - and pray through that list every morning instead of rehashing his disappointments. As he did that, over time, she changed...or maybe she didn't. Maybe the problem was in his focus on the disappointments and his lack of thankfulness. In reality, she did change in response to the change in his attitude toward and treatment of her. And it all grew out of his choice to be thankful for the good things. There marriage was saved and grew into the beautiful thing God wanted it to be.


Something is going well. If nothing else, you are still breathing. If nothing else, God is still God, whether you feel like He is or not. Find these things, write them down, and be thankful for them.


5) Pray.


Another thing my Pastor says is, "You can do much more than pray, but you can do no more until you have prayed." Remember that God has not promised only good things in your life, but He HAS promised to work ALL things - good and bad - together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. That is YOU - or it can be if you choose.


I'd love to read comments on things that help you overcome disappointment and setbacks.

Be All That You Can Be

Whether you are in the Army or not, the old tag line is a great one. With all the uncertainty in the market and layoffs expanding into more industries, a lot of people are getting antsy wondering what the future holds.

• Be the best employee in your organization so that of all the people, they want to keep you.

I have been using a "Getting Things Done" workflow model by David Allen to vastly improve my efficiency and effectiveness at work. Anyone who has come into my office in the last couple of weeks has noticed the change. Make sure your work product and ethic reflect that you are doing your work as unto God and not unto men (Colossians 3:23).

David Allen's workflow model, along with Steven Covey's calendar management method have been very useful to me. But like my Pastor says about workout equipment, whether you have an eliptical machine, treadmill, weight bench, or the Total Gym, they all work and any one of them will help you IF you use it! As it relates to your work, find what helps you most and USE IT.

• Maximize your value by playing to your strengths.

Pastor Andy Stanley writes about this in his book. The Next Generation Leader. We have a tendency to spend a lot of time and energy building up and compensating for our weaknesses, while giving little time to improving our strengths. This leaves us mediocre in the weaker areas, and moderate in our strengths. Put it together and you get one work - OK. Okay employees are less valuable than strong employees. Where you add the most value in your organization is where you are the strongest.

Most people have certain responsibilities at work that they don't like as well or at which they are less proficient. Complete that work at your best but don't spend all your energy trying to grow an area with little potential. Again, the idea is to become so strong in your strengths that your employer frees you up from your weaknesses in order to maximize the value you produce. It may seem idealistic, but move this way. You may find yourself becoming more bold, more secure, and more valued.

• Don't retreat.

Sometimes you have done all you can do and bad things happen anyway. In Ephesians 6:13 (NIV) Paul said,

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.


There are times when you have done everything you can do, and all that is left is to stay standing. No ground may be gained today, but "stand your ground" and do all you can so that "after you have done everything," you may be able to stand.

Don't miss the way to do this - put on the whole armor of God, even before the day of evil comes. Be ready in advance.

• Trust in the Lord.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) says,

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding; In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

God is big enough to make a crooked path straight. Another translation says, "He will direct your paths." Spend more time putting your trust in the Lord than worrying about the path. This verse makes clear that He will take care of the path you take, IF you fulfill the first part of the verse.

Another verse to reference is Romans 12:2. It is my verse for 2009...I'll say more about this in #4 below.

• And as always, when uncertain times come, you can increase your peace and build a safety net by following some good financial advice:

1) Get out of debt


2) Build and/or maintain a solid 3-6 months savings fund


3) Diversify your investments, including some international funds


4) And this should really be #1 - Trust in the Lord.

Back to Romans 12:2 - while so many people are stressed about the future of their job or retirement plan, we who trust in the Lord live in a different Kingdom, and we need to remind ourselves of that.

In the Kingdom of God, His Name is "Provider." His Name is "Peace."...So don't let your thinking be "conformed to this world" but be "transformed by the renewing of your mind". There should be a dramatic difference in how we who trust in the Name of the Lord approach troubled times.

Be all that you can be. Carry the Kingdom of God inside of you. Bring it into your home, your church, your work, your social sphere... May "Your Kindgom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven."

Getting a job (part 1)

I received a phone call from a friend recently who had lost his job. It was all very sudden and he was asking if I had any advice on how to proceed without getting into a big mess. I asked him a few questions and found that he was doing everything just right. He already had several interviews scheduled and was working several other job leads. He and his wife had reviewed their budget and knew exactly how much income they needed to replace to keep all the bills paid. They had some emergency savings that could carry them for a short time. I really had nothing to add except some encouragement.

I was particularly interested in the fact that he had several interviews while others I have spoken to have had none. How did he do this? And in "this economy?"

1) Guard your good name. Understand that your decisions today affect your tomorrow. Some of the job openings my friend applied for had many other candidates who were disqualified during the background check investigation phase of the process. His good name served him well. This point is easily overlooked, especially while we are young, but consider it carefully when you interact with others, both in your job and outside your employment. You never know when someone you meet might be sitting across a desk from you or have the option of sending you a customer.

a) Treat customers well. My wife and I recently stayed at a bed-and-breakfast that has outstanding service. We made it a point to tell the owners how impressed we were with the evening innkeeper. They said they had hired her from a store in which they often shopped. Their satisfaction as customers led them to think of her when they needed a new employee. And if you ever want some time away in Kansas City within walking distance of the Country Club Plaza, we highly recommend the Southmoreland (http://www.southmoreland.com/) for your stay.

b) Treat vendors well. Again, you never know when you might be knocking on their door to apply for a job. I have found that treating others well, even when you are a customer pays off. I have easily resolved potentially tough situations by remaining calm and extending grace, even when the "customer service" was lousy. I have done this regularly with vendors with whom others rarely reach a resolution (e.g., mobile phone providers). It doesn't always happen, but often. Have you ever taught your kids about the Golden Rule? Why, as adults, do we forget the simple lessons in life?

c) Be careful not to burn bridges when you leave employment. Leaving on bad terms may have future consequence. It may lead to a bad reference or take your freedom to apply for a future position in that company. The Bible says that as far as it depends on you, live at peace with all people. And as an aside, remember that God knows you lost your job. If you truly believe He has a plan for your destiny and you trust Him, you can walk in peace even when you lose your job. To gain some insight on this point, study the life of Joseph (starting in Genesis 37).

Another recent example of how the past interacts unexpectedly with the present is a business that recently got a very beneficial lease contract. The lessee was referred to them by a person who had an association with them many years ago. Many years prior, the business had no idea the relationship would lead to a referral in the future, but when you understand that your decisions today affect your future in unforeseen ways, you will tend to guard your good name by treating people well and parting on good terms.

"Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold." -Proverbs 22:1 (NLT)

I'll stop for today. Next week I'll discuss the next reason I think my friend has been so successful finding great job opportunities.

Money Reflects Priorities

This week I decided to post this interesting little blurb I received from Rick Boxx with Integrity Resource Center (http://www.integrityresource.org/). IRC works to "restore integrity and faith at work" and is an amazing resource especially for businesses, business owners, and business leaders. Check out all the resources they have to offer on the website. If you need to talk to someone about issues you are facing in your business and what God might think about them, give IRC a call. Additionally, at the website you can sign up to receive these daily Integrity Moments if you wish.

Megamansions: Good or Bad for Business?

Two university professors may have come up with a new way of analyzing stocks. David Yermack and Crocker Liu's unusual study concluded that CEOs with bigger houses risk poor stock performance. In the study, companies of CEOs with megamansions performed 7% worse on average than their peers, whereas CEOs with smaller homes outperformed the S&P by 22%.

But why should it matter? Is there any real correlation between house size and company performance?

Luke 16 offers a parable about a wealthy man, who decided to tear down all his barns and build bigger ones. Jesus warned him, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

The way you spend your money reflects what is important to you. If amassing more wealth is your priority, you may meet your goal, but lose sight of even more valuable things, things that are truly worth pursuing.