DeLand Shore

You have inspired me! Sometimes we all need a litt...

2012-01-20T07:42:37.502-08:00

You have inspired me! Sometimes we all need a little reminder and encouragement to keep trudging forward! THANKS!!

Hey DeLand,
I was reading your blog on how to ...

2009-04-01T23:41:00.000-07:00

Hey DeLand,
I was reading your blog on how to deal with setbacks and disappointments. I found it really interesting and encouraging simply because so many people including me sometimes don’t know how to deal with problems when they arise. I’ve only recently learned how to better equip myself for handling problems and setbacks. I have a business associate who helped me better understand and prepare myself for those untimely situations. I wanted to share a thought process that has helped me recently. I only hope that can paint the mental picture needed so that others can understand what I am trying to convey.
Picture a quiet, calm and serene body of water, such as a small lake or a pond. No boats, no people. All of a sudden someone takes a rock and throws it into the middle of the pond. What happens to the water? Well, it absorbs the impact, it makes some ripples and waves, but eventually and very quickly, it calms itself and reverts back to the calm and gentle body of water that it was prior to the rock being tossed into its life. The same thing would happen if instead of a small rock being thrown it was a boulder. The water always absorbs the impact with very little effect.
My point is this, “be like water; shapeless and formless”. The water doesn’t see the rock or boulder coming at it and scream “Oh No!”And let it ruin its day. Life throws many rocks and sometimes boulders at us all the time. In order to be effective in overcoming these waves of disappointments and setbacks, we must develop a mental toughness that allows us to revert back to calm and serene as quickly as possible.
Taking on this thought process has been extremely helpful for me in both my business and personal life. It has helped me to think proactively more than anything so that I can better anticipate when it’s a small rock or boulder coming at me. I have been working on not letting things penetrate my focus and knock me off of my game plan, no matter the size of the problem.

Jesus said in Matthew 6:25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? “Matthew 6:27 “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

To me, that says it all and I can relate it directly to my description of the rock in the water.

One last thing.

I too have read and listened to some of Covey’s material. He has a great video that he calls Whitewater. We live in a whitewater world where things are always churning and changing. Sometimes these changes are good and often they are bad. He teaches that there are 3 constants in life: 1) Change: This is Whitewater 2) Principles: These are our rules or code of conduct for living 3) Choice: The power to adapt to the first two constants.
Think about that for a moment. If we know change is coming and our faith is in the Lord, then the choice on how to deal with this change and these setbacks should be easier. It will always require prayer and faith in Jesus to believe that everything is going to be ok in the midst of problems, but recognizing these 3 constants helps me to be better prepared to deal with them head on.

AMEN and AMEN! What a great word of encouragement...

2009-03-23T11:56:00.000-07:00

AMEN and AMEN! What a great word of encouragement today.

Good to see you this weekend; thank you for coming down and toting Jack's. :) Love you all~~

Good post; totally relevant, completely useful. :)...

2009-02-08T20:51:00.000-08:00

Good post; totally relevant, completely useful. :) I have a favorite blogger who often writes "hold plans loosely". She makes plans, and is a strong advocate of having a plan, a blueprint, for her days/week...but she remains flexible for both life and God to work. This keeps setbacks from robbing peace and joy, whether big disappointments, or small difficulties.

Additionally, a key element is "eternal perspective". Even in the face of disappointment, we can ask "what is God trying to teach me?" and we can ask "how can I bring glory to God, even in the midst of this hardship?" Much easier said than done, yet if we can grasp that our earthly difficulties are so temporal in the face of eternity--and all that ultimately counts IS that with eternal meaning, then we can better equip ourselves to act righteously and seek God in the storms. As the song says "every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise...when the darkness closes in Lord, STILL I will say, blessed be the name of the Lord."

Steven C Chapman comes to mind; he had much more than a setback--he is experienced a horrific tragedy most of us cannot grasp. He had to deal with it publically, and yet, His faith did not waiver in the midst of disappointment, in the midst of totally shattering grief. He is bringing glory to God through this trial he is living with. People like him, stories like that, inspire me. They remind me that most of my trials, as hard as they may be for me--are really not so bad. And if something worse comes--and it might--God is still God. We must seek to rise above our hardships, to claim victory in Him, knowing that the earth will fade away. Look ahead! Eternity matters.

WHEW! Thanks! I feel much better getting that ra...

2008-10-30T14:59:00.000-07:00

WHEW! Thanks! I feel much better getting that rant off my chest. Oh, wait, this is your blog and your rant. Well, still, I feel better. :D Good post, good thoughts to take forward. I don't know if we'll ever get wealthy or not, but the peace of living rightly, living within our means, and above all, trusting in God for our future, make it well with my soul either way.

Amen! I'm tired too; and I have my own list of re...

2008-09-10T09:31:00.000-07:00

Amen! I'm tired too; and I have my own list of reasons. lol. It is amazing how easily we can veer off track with laziness, busyness, or simply lack of purpose from day to day.

Thanks for the positive encouragement! Great to see you back :)

Good post, thanks for your honesty. Wow; you are ...

2008-08-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

Good post, thanks for your honesty. Wow; you are a great example of life changed, and a perfect person to be teaching the material. I had no idea how well you could relate to the mistakes most of us make. Your 'old rules' sound quite familiar, and your new rules are life changing. For you and for us! Congratulations; you are a poster child for the "gazelle"...I am so proud of you! Both of you!! Can't wait to scream with you :)

Great post...thanks for being so open. I am so pr...

2008-08-17T17:09:00.000-07:00

Great post...thanks for being so open. I am so proud of what God has been doing in you and your family. This is very nearly as motivating as screaming "I'm Debt Free"...which you will do soon!

Sublime wrap-up! Can't disagree. I appreciate yo...

2008-08-06T07:43:00.000-07:00

Sublime wrap-up! Can't disagree. I appreciate your strong stance on "doing what is best", and on the "love" factor--especially in bringing another believer down. I know of situations in which believers have chosen to drink because other (perceived) "stronger" believers have had a glass or two.

Indeed, it is not simply an issue of "wrong or right". The "what is best" question hits home.

My apologies--in my last comment, I should have re...

2008-07-31T08:03:00.000-07:00

My apologies--in my last comment, I should have referred to the inner church fighting as between "Protestant" denominations themselves, as well as with Roman Catholics, rather than "Christian" and Roman Catholics, as the latter is not mutually exclusive.

Once posted, obviously, I cannot edit my comment submission.

While at first glance, the argument may seem to la...

2008-07-30T22:13:00.000-07:00

While at first glance, the argument may seem to lack theological depth, I would say the simple question "is it best?" still remains valid, and has plenty of depth, historically and theologically. And, honestly, it may be the same thing as "can I love others--and here I might add, myself--enough to refrain from offending them?"

Indeed, the "wine" of the Bible may not have been grape juice, however, the argument can be made for the immense market of suitable (and flavorful) drinks that are available today. In those times and in that culture, clean drinking water was difficult to come by. And in some countries, it is the same today. But not in America--we have clean drinking water, bottled water of every kind, sparkling water, juice, soda pop, milk, and the list goes on and on and on. So why choose alcohol? You like the taste? Sure, so do I. But there are many other choices which do NOT have the implications physically, socially, or spiritually, which alcohol carries.

We cannot change history, and in this case, church history. Drunkenness was an issue all the way back to Abraham, so the question begs, again, what is best? Why would we not choose what is best? There is no argument for alcohol consumption to be the "best" for anyone, unless to drink anything else would bring illness to one's body. That simply isn't the case in America, nor in other industrialized nations. Culture cannot be ignored, and while the American culture drinks, by tradition, large segments of the churched culture, historically, does not. Do we want to change this tradition and adapt to popular culture? As DeLand asks, do we not desire to maintain the highest standards, rather than walking the line? If we desire to walk the line, then we have an attitude issues. For, does Christ Himself not represent "a better way to live?" Freedom and liberty in Him should encourage personal holiness; the desire to be the best we can be in Christ, rather than resisting authority and crying for liberty. If we abuse the freedom and liberties His grace offers us, then we have a deeper problem, perhaps one of rebellion.

In his book Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster writes a chapter discussing the corporate discipline of guidance. He writes that Scripture must pervade and penetrate all our thinking and acting…that there must be the outward authority of Scripture, but also the inward authority of the Holy Spirit. So, while consumption of alcohol may not be explicitly prohibited in Scripture, an attitude of rebellion certainly is. Why would we insist upon our "right" to drink, using Scripture's lack of prohibition as a license, unless we have a root of rebellion within us? If we care about the greater good, and it is certain that "drinking", as defined by culture in America, does not end up in the greater good, then why would the church not choose to avoid it? Certainly, the Bible is clear, as we all agree, on avoiding drunkenness, as well as the behaviors that generally accompany misuse of alcohol. If we choose to abstain from alcohol, it is certain that we will never become drunk!

However misguided some of the temperance movements may have been--and certainly, some were severely so--the roots of such movements often grew with those who had experienced tribulation because of the harmful effects of alcoholism (Carrie Nation's first husband was an alcoholic, for instance). Social unrest and crime and poverty became associated with misuse of alcohol, historically, and so, as it often does, a movement for change began.

I can agree that the Church should lead the way in social change. And in my opinion, that is the point of this article, and the financial blog (which addresses so many heart issues, through the venue of money matters). Change must happen, and it must happen within the Church! If the Church were more effective, then perhaps political inroads would not be the usual pathway to such change, or perhaps, such paths are marked by history and before our time. Still, how can the Church be effective, if the Church has no better record than the unchurched? Families still break up, divorce is rampant, financial destruction and bankruptcy exists, teen pregnancy, immodesty/promiscuity…alcoholism and other addictions are just as prevalent within the Church as outside of it. And with the cultural shifts a new millenium brings, the Church accepts these social problems as the norm, often choosing to look the other way, rather than addressing them and teaching on them.

Therefore, in addressing these issues, I would ask, how can we-- as Christians--NOT use the Bible to answer arguments such as these? 2 Timothy 3:16 deals with this, as do other verses. The NT is full of letters written to churches; fledgling churches, full of folks who needed guidance, who fought amongst themselves, who were Gentiles without the historical Law to teach them. We are not all that different today.

But, by teaching acceptance, and even moderation, we the Church, leave the back door open. We cannot say who will fall down the path of alcoholism rather than moderation. But we can say with certainty, that some will. This is true, even in countries where true alcoholism is less prevalent, due to moderation. There are still some who become addicts and cannot control it. This was true in biblical days as well, as is illustrated throughout the Old Testament and the New Testament, by various accounts and warnings. So abstinence becomes simply the best choice, if not a Biblical mandate.

Furthermore, when a nation is founded for the purpose of religious freedom, how can that nation fully separate politics and religion? Government was set up in order to further the development of a nation which began for religion (and in the case of America, Christianity). Is it not a wheel of sorts, with one end constantly chasing the other? Ironically, the enmeshment is exactly what our Founders wished to avoid.

In addition to political fighting, then, the prohibition movement of America, also involved inter-denominational warring within the Christian and/or Roman Catholic churches. And so, we are back to the varied interpretations of the Bible.

Keep in mind, of the "alcohol in moderation" nations:
An article briefly discussing alcoholism in France, one of the top 10 nations for alcohol consumption:
http://www.news-medical.net/?id=14713
Similar reports from Germany, another country on the top 10 list. And it may be, that because alcohol consumption is more socially acceptable, in public and with younger drinkers involved, the social problems stemming from alcoholism are less recognized. Or more tolerated. Or both! As well, it is clear that traffic deaths due to drunkenness continues to rank highly in these countries, as does health care crisis due to overconsumption. One couldn't argue that alcohol certainly leads to addiction with disastrous results in Russia, among other countries. Absolute and total destruction of manhood, of families, and so on.

One certainty that cannot be ignored: if we practice abstinence, alcoholism will never be a problem. There will be no alcohol-related health issues, no drunk driving deaths, and so on. The social dysfunction attributed to alcohol consumption and/or alcoholism would cease to exist. We can break the curse handed down through generations; the curse that science confirms has genetic links. To teach appropriate consumption as a social norm seems as harmful as teaching appropriate illegal drug usage.

Which leads to the deeper issue, and that is, those who seek to abuse a substance, will. Those with uncontrolled addictive natures, will find another source to feed their addictions. To drink or not to drink simply does not reach the root issue. However, I would still say that choosing "not" to drink remains a more desirous stance.

I have 2 friends who are alcoholics. Both are mot...

2008-07-25T10:23:00.000-07:00

I have 2 friends who are alcoholics. Both are mothers of 3 young children. One was raised in a church culture of abstinence, the other, in a church culture of moderation. Both are aware of traditional church views (in America) of abstinence, and both know the current harm alcoholism has caused their families, as well as the potential for greater future harm. But both are unwilling to give it up. A spirit of rebellion exists, deeply rooted. And for what? A few drinks.

When we have a spirit of unrest within us, we seek to quiet that spirit. Alcohol, in moderation, serves this purpose, bringing relaxation. A warmth. Yet we soon may be unable to find quiet through other means, and at that point, we become addicts, seeking the "fix". We must find the root cause for our unrest, and find that peace which passes understanding. While sometimes elusive, it can only be found through transformation in Christ. A problem surfaces however, when we are unwilling and/or unable to accept the sacrificial life changes which accompany transformation. Hence, the root of rebellion lingers, continuing to inflict harm, to keep us addicted.

How do we, the Church, address this issue? Clearly, simple abstinence is the best policy, but in many cases, we are past this. How do we reverse our path? We must choose. We must teach personal responsibility through personal choice. Transformation, then, will inevitably follow, will it not? Must we not use the Bible to teach such responsiblity?

If we must argue "I can and so I will..." then our will is not in submission to Christ. Once we are in submission, we no longer need to argue, for we become as Paul, giving up that food/drink which offends, and we can truly "take it or leave it"--which, in submission, will generally be "leaving it".

I shall mildly endeavor to be brief in an attempt ...

2008-07-23T21:21:00.000-07:00

I shall mildly endeavor to be brief in an attempt to reply, or converse, not refute your position.

I would likely not engage in a for or against stance of social drinking any more than a for or against stance of eating out on the Sabbath, watching TV or movies, dancing, etc. The Holiness movements of which you are fully aware of laid forth the very same arguments, “ Entire Sanctification”, not only for social drinking, but some of the very same issues of their day that I mentioned. Which brings me to my first thought…

1. Context- The likelihood of social drinking as a controversial topic would possibly (probably) be reduced without the lingering effects of the Prohibition Era. Even as the roots of our country are founded in Puritanism there are scholars who recount that more beer was loaded into the Mayflower than water. The Prohibition Era changed the way Americans consumed alcohol. As the effects became clear, several Prohibitionist Legislators recanted their stance as the outcomes of higher alcohol contents, binge drinking, increased drinking among females, and the diminishing idea of consumption of alcoholic beverages during the course of a meal took root in the culture. Really, the laws of supply and demand were at work.

There are many developed countries that have not gone through a Prohibition style era, that alcohol consumption is a normal part of life, especially a meal, and those cultures do not have the negative effects the way we do. Consumption is moderated through normative practice and the urge to binge or abuse is abnormal culturally rather than accepted or even encouraged. It wasn’t until the 2nd century when some legalistic sects, of Gnostic descent, even promoted the idea of abstinence from alcohol.

All of the above being said, if we are to look at context, it must go both ways. In our context alcoholic consumption brings forth negative connotations and we as the church must recognize this. To me, the church should not be informed by the culture, but rather inform the culture. In other words, could the church lead the way practically by influencing the culture, especially the youth culture, in such a way that inhibits the urge to binge drink or otherwise completely cut loose as they “find” themselves? Possibly the temperance movement and prohibition have done more damage as the church latched onto these movements in an attempt to control behavior through the political process rather than the spiritual. In fact, I would assert that the church should be informing the advertising and marketing industry who influences our youth more than ANYONE!

Various sources include: Stanley Baron- Brewed in America: A History of Beer and Ale in the United States, Allan Blaine- Alcoholism and the Jewish Community, Robert Popham- The Social History of the Tavern, various others)

2. Biblically- The overlay of 1 Corinthians 8 is of course the base argument used….in my view the emotion of the argument is neither pro or con directly, for whatever reason on either side, emotion is prevalent. (Usually in any sort of conflicting argument emotion is prevalent…”I’m right and you’re wrong”…save that one for another post!)

Jesus himself created alcohol out of water. Please do not tell me it was grape juice, the Hebrew contains no distinction of alcoholic or not, and due to the climate of the area, juice would ferment in to alcohol very quickly. The discourse of Matthew 15 is also relevant here as Jesus is contrasting his work of grace with the effects of the Pharisaical Law. Specifically in verse 11 he says: “What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.' " The Pharisees are complaining that the Disciples do not wash their hands before they eat. Jesus is debunking the two sided nature of their criticism. He came to restore not just humanity, but all of creation…the law still considered creation to be captive through fallen-ness. Still does.

Yet Jesus clearly disapproved of drunkenness (Matthew 24, Luke 12, Luke 21). 1 Timothy 5 could however be read as to advocate drinking. One reason I do not typically like to reason using just the Bible is the same reason I do not really care for statistical evidences...Both can be manipulated to conform to the argument. (I am no saying don't use scripture...I just do not like it in this manner...)

In the name of Christianity there is much that comes out of our mouths that is unclean. Possibly the over indulgence of alcohol makes this point in a more salient manner…

The issue then, as I see it, is not about to drink or not to drink. The issue is one of love. Do you have enough love to keep a brother from sin…that encompasses so much more than drinking. Do we care for one another to die for each other if needed? We are called to be crucified…how many of us a. even know what that means, and b. are willing to do that at the level advocated by Paul here. Am I willing to recognize the ways my life impacts those around me? Unfortunately in the narcissistic, consumer driven culture we surround ourselves with, can we look beyond our wants, our needs, our desires and be the glove on God’s hand to those around us? It is difficult for me to see that in an age of advocating for our personal rights…our personal salvation…our personal devotional time…

Today everything is reduced to the personal. God is three in one, He is community. We must learn to live and make decisions that are in the interests of the community not just ourselves. That I think is what Paul’s concern is. That we assess ourselves in light of others, not just ourselves.

Most of the ancillary arguments you have come across fail at this level. The issue of sin, or justification of doing or not doing, which is what is being danced around in your post, as well as most of the responses could be addressed this way…“The Gospel of Christ, which means the good news of Christ, is given to tell us not what we already know but what we do not know. It is given not to tell us that we have failed, because we already know that about ourselves. That is not good news. It is given to tell us what we have forgotten, and that is who we are.” (J. Philip Newell, Echo of the Soul: The Sacredness of the Human Body.

To me the question of to drink or not drink is the wrong question. That question is looking to justify a position…Jesus did not arrive here to justify a position…the following prayer is illustrative of the QBQ… it directs us to the proper question of how can I love those around me better?

Lord Jesus Christ, you stretched out your arms of love on the hard wood of the cross that everyone might come within the reach of your saving embrace. So clothe us in your Spirit that we, reaching forth our hands in love, may bring those who do not know you to the knowledge and love of you; for the honor of your Name. Amen -The Book of Common Prayer, 101.

In that light then, I see less of a question, and more of a commitment…to Christ and to others…and to redemption.

Perhaps I have strayed off topic, although I have several other thoughts, especially with the specious arguments people have presented to you, these are my off the top thoughts...

Well said, I think you did an amazing job interpre...

2008-07-23T18:14:00.000-07:00

Well said, I think you did an amazing job interpreting scripture. I am also very excited you addressed it. Keep up the good work

I can't (and wouldn't) disagree w/ any of the soli...

2008-07-22T17:29:00.000-07:00

I can't (and wouldn't) disagree w/ any of the solid points you made. Too many churches are afraid to address this issue directly and all too often, like you stated, take an emotional approach to it. If there is truly no good that comes from alcohol, why is that so many people (myself included before I truly came to a decision to follow Christ w/ my WHOLE heart) attempt to justify drinking? I know that the answer lies w/in the fact that we would simply rather feed our flesh than to simply be obedient to Christ, but it's unfortunate that we as a church body have not more decisively tackled this problem. You cannot adequately argue w/ the truth of the Word of God. Well said, DeLand. Well said.

thanks for your boldness in addressing this issue....

2008-07-22T17:14:00.000-07:00

thanks for your boldness in addressing this issue. i agree that the church is negligent in avoiding the topic of social drinking. This and many other topics such as debt, sex, & impacts of media and should be openly discussed and evaluated alongside scripture more often.

Ahhh, and just as I was sitting down to read blogs...

2008-07-22T15:31:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, and just as I was sitting down to read blogs with my glass of wine. (Just kidding). Well said, can't disagree. Especially with the "kids at home" factor. And honestly, if it is, as regularly stated, so easy to take it or leave it, I often wonder why "no one" ever chooses to "leave" it??!!

Oh my goodness, and financially, alcohol racks up fast. When I've picked up wine in the past, I've wondered how on earth folks afford to keep a steady supply!

Then there's the health factor of excessive drinking, beyond the one glass with dinner...

For some reason, my html editor wouldn't change th...

2008-07-22T12:47:00.000-07:00

For some reason, my html editor wouldn't change the layout of the block text verses. It didn't look like they would post broken up like they did. Sorry - I tried.

How true it is; good advice. Many "plans" go by t...

2008-07-17T06:52:00.000-07:00

How true it is; good advice. Many "plans" go by the wayside because they're not written--there's no physical commitment to them and no way to achieve them. We need "money to-do" lists, don't we? I've sent your blog link to a couple friends.

I am always available to help. Call 913-432-4300 ...

2008-07-16T07:33:00.000-07:00

I am always available to help. Call 913-432-4300 or email to dshore@antiochchurch.com.

I need some help maybe you could help me out with ...

2008-07-15T09:23:00.000-07:00

I need some help maybe you could help me out with a few financial things.

Use www.uslegalforms.com/dave for a discount!

2008-07-14T14:24:00.000-07:00

Use www.uslegalforms.com/dave for a discount!

LOL...I never RSVP anymore. Isn't that terrible? ...

2008-07-14T14:06:00.000-07:00

LOL...I never RSVP anymore. Isn't that terrible? I used to, but the people I would reply to said "oh, yeah, okay, whatever..." leaving me with the distinct impression that my attendance didn't matter. Anyway, great advice. I'll have to check out the link you gave as we need to do a simple will.

Welcome to the world of blogging. Great statement...

2008-07-11T12:28:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the world of blogging. Great statement on growth, and certainly, the area of personal finance is a hot-button topic. Looking forward to what you'll be sharing!

DeLand Shore

You have inspired me! Sometimes we all need a litt...

Hey DeLand, I was reading your blog on how to ...

AMEN and AMEN! What a great word of encouragement...

Good post; totally relevant, completely useful. :)...

WHEW! Thanks! I feel much better getting that ra...

Amen! I'm tired too; and I have my own list of re...

Good post, thanks for your honesty. Wow; you are ...

Great post...thanks for being so open. I am so pr...

Sublime wrap-up! Can't disagree. I appreciate yo...

My apologies--in my last comment, I should have re...

While at first glance, the argument may seem to la...

I have 2 friends who are alcoholics. Both are mot...

I shall mildly endeavor to be brief in an attempt ...

Well said, I think you did an amazing job interpre...

I can't (and wouldn't) disagree w/ any of the soli...

thanks for your boldness in addressing this issue....

Ahhh, and just as I was sitting down to read blogs...

For some reason, my html editor wouldn't change th...

How true it is; good advice. Many "plans" go by t...

I am always available to help. Call 913-432-4300 ...

I need some help maybe you could help me out with ...

Use www.uslegalforms.com/dave for a discount!

LOL...I never RSVP anymore. Isn't that terrible? ...

Welcome to the world of blogging. Great statement...

Hey DeLand,
I was reading your blog on how to ...