I recently got a phone call that dealt me an unexpected setback - to the tune of about $3,000. It affected my debt repayment schedule primarily, which has been a big focus of mine this year. Do I need to write that I was disappointed? I think we each face disappointment and setbacks on an occasional, if not regular basis. What to do? How to respond?
These are but a few thoughts on how to move through and move ahead anyway:
1) Guard your focus.
Don't spend inordinate amounts of time rehearsing the disappointment. It will kill your creativity and hope for life beyond. When you keep hope alive and look beyond the immediate obstacle, you rise above the obstacle that disappointed you and be able to see and chart a course to move ahead. My Pastor says, "You can't lay back in a setback." Well, you shouldn't anyway.
2) Adjust your plan.
This is why a plan is so important. If you have a plan there is action you can take against your disappointment. I am coordinating my third Financial Peace University class. We are working through Week 3 - Cash Flow Planning. It is foundational to the class, just like a plan is foundational to life. We are better able to navigate the waters of disappointment and setbacks if there is a plan. The setback can be addressed - adjust the plan to compensate. Now work the new plan. It makes it much smoother. With no plan, the setback causes chaos and debilitating disappointment. So if you don't have one, make one now!
3) Don't fret what you cannot change.
If we can get this one planted deep inside, our worry will diminish, peace will increase, and the disappointment will loose its power. Disappointment is tied to expectation and can be a powerful weapon against your future, your peace, and your success. It is why so much of our economy is tied to "consumer confidence." Especially at the start of difficult economic times, very little has fundamentally changed in people's lives. But as confidence wanes, people pull back, thus creating the very problem they fear. It's an interesting cycle. Don't let things out of your control rob you of peace, joy, and right-thinking.
4) Be thankful!
Motivational speaker, Bob Harrison, tells a story that has been a huge help to me when I am facing disappointment - and it relates back to #1. Years ago his marriage was in trouble and he was praying about his wife and complaining to God about the many ways she was falling short. God encouraged him to make a list of her good traits - the things he was thankful for - and pray through that list every morning instead of rehashing his disappointments. As he did that, over time, she changed...or maybe she didn't. Maybe the problem was in his focus on the disappointments and his lack of thankfulness. In reality, she did change in response to the change in his attitude toward and treatment of her. And it all grew out of his choice to be thankful for the good things. There marriage was saved and grew into the beautiful thing God wanted it to be.
Something is going well. If nothing else, you are still breathing. If nothing else, God is still God, whether you feel like He is or not. Find these things, write them down, and be thankful for them.
5) Pray.
Another thing my Pastor says is, "You can do much more than pray, but you can do no more until you have prayed." Remember that God has not promised only good things in your life, but He HAS promised to work ALL things - good and bad - together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. That is YOU - or it can be if you choose.
I'd love to read comments on things that help you overcome disappointment and setbacks.
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