DeLand Shore

5 Frugal Valentine's Day Gift Ideas

2012-02-14T08:45:00.000-08:00

Gifts holidays are always a little tough when you are working your way out of a mess. So, courtesy of the Dave Ramsey team via the Gazelle Gazette e-newsletter, here are...

5 Frugal Valentine's Day Gift Ideas

Last year the average American spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $70 on Valentine's Day.That may be within your budget, but spending money doesn't necessarily make it a happy Cupid day. Spending time, on the other hand, can do just that. If you're working your way through the debt snowball and don't have a lot of cash lying around, here are some tips for enjoying February 14:

Make dinner together – There's nothing wrong with going out to eat, but standing in line for two hours isn't the most romantic thing in the world. And don't even get us started on the jacked-up prices you are waiting to pay. Plan a candlelit dinner that you cook together. It's a great bonding experience that you can look forward to.

Go to less frequented places – You may not want a meal out, but what about going to a coffee shop for a quiet drink or dessert? The prices and crowds will be lower, and you have to admit that a sweet with your sweetie brings a smile to your face.

Write letters – Some people might feel cheesy doing something like this. They think it's best left to contestants on The Bachelorette who will not be getting a rose. But a letter to your husband or wife telling them how you feel about them or what you admire most about them is a nice gesture that they'll appreciate.

Movie night – There are tons of free movies you can check out from the library. Rent an old favorite and snuggle up on the couch. You might also check to see if there is a dollar-movie theater around that is showing an older movie or a classic title.

Check out the used bookstore – This might be a hidden gem of an idea. You both can stroll through and browse all the titles on the shelves. A few books are bound to stand out to you, and even if you're not a reader, some of the subjects are sure to be conversation starters.

When you get down to it, the most important thing is that you and your husband or wife spend time together. These are just some suggestions for making it happen. Since you know your marriage better than anyone, think of ways to nurture it.

And by the way, according to a recent poll, 87% of women say the gift they want most is just to hear, "I love you." Guess how much that costs?

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Let me add one more. The sweetest inexpensive date idea I have ever heard came from a law school friend who said when she and her husband were newly married and had no money, they would go on a date to the Hallmark Cards store. They would split up, find the very best card for the other, and then meet back up. They would read the card they wished they could buy and share why they chose it.

Even if you have plenty of money, that one just might make for a very special evening.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Cash flow planning help

2012-02-11T12:27:00.000-08:00

After the cash flow planning / budgeting week, you may be a little overwhelmed by all the paperwork Dave recommends to manage your financial life...each month. People often ask me, "Do you really do this?" I can assure you that I do and I can assure you that I don't.

Let me explain. I don't complete all the paper forms, but I have a spreadsheet that includes all the forms and I plug our numbers into that every single month, adjusting until income minus expenses equals ZERO. And it takes just a few minutes. Carrie and I discuss it and agree to the plan. We use the cash envelope system, which reduces the workload through the month. And I can assure you that it works.

Keep in mind that once you get the kinks worked out of your budget many of the line items don't change. That is why I encourage people to do the hard work and commit to stick it out for 3 months at least before deciding how doable it is.

And when it comes to the envelopes, here is how we do it. When we take the money out for groceries for example, I count that full amount as spent for the month. I don't track our spending within the envelope, if that makes sense. Some people do. I don't. So instead of 6 or 7 or more transactions for groceries, I record only one each month. This makes the tracking very simple. And Carrie doesn't have to call and ask about buying something. As long as she stays within the cash allotted for a category, she has total freedom. She likes that!

Below are some online money management tools you may want to check out. They do the math for you, making the process of of adjusting to zero much easier. These are great tools that will help you to WIN.

Dave Ramsey's Gazelle Budget Software (available free for members during FPU)

https://mrc.daveramsey.com/

This is the real deal right from the source. You get access to all kinds of tools, help and encouragement to keep you "Gazelle Intense" on your journey to Financial Peace. This is an incredible tool I encourage you to check out.

You can also buy the software on CD for $18.95 at http://www.daveramsey.com/store/budgeting-tools/budgeting-software/cBUDGETING-cBudSoft-p1.html

The CD software is PC-only. Dave often offers it on sale for only $10.

There is a "Lite" version of the budget form you can use without login at:

http://www.daveramsey.com/tools/budget-lite/

Just print it off after completing the form.

Mvelopes

http://www.mvelopes.com/

This is another amazing online software system that is available for a fee. It can connect with your accounts online if you want for it to automatically download transactions. You can make adjustments from there if needed. It uses a virtual "envelope system" to track you budget-to-actual and keep you on track. You "fund" the "mvelopes" and spend from them online, making tracking very easy.

Mint.com

https://www.mint.com/

Mint has become very popular because it also connects online with your bank and other accounts and because it is free. It automatically assigns expenses to budget categories based on the place of purchase (for example, if the purchase is from a grocery store it determines the expense to be groceries). You can make adjustments as needed. Mint does collect data about your finances anonymously, which is a concern for some.

YNAB (You Need A Budget)

http://www.youneedabudget.com/

YNAB is available online or you can purchase the software for PC or Mac. It offers lots of online resources to help you understand how to use the YNAB system. YNAB is a great tool, available for a fee.

Pear Budget

https://pearbudget.com/

Pear is a simple but powerful budget system offered for a small monthly fee. Pear Budget "Uses the classic “envelopes” method of budgeting, but updated for the web. Fans of Dave Ramsey love us!"

Microsoft Excel or other spreadsheet software

If you are comfortable and familiar using spreadsheets and would like me to email you forms in this format, just let me know and I will send you what I use.

Some people like the manual forms. Others prefer different software tools. Find what works best for you and that you will use ongoing. Make it a habit!

Most importantly and this is true always...if you need any help or have questions, please contact me. I am here to help in any way I can.

Week 3...

2012-02-03T12:45:00.000-08:00

As Dave asks, "If you managed money for You, Inc. the same way you manage money for you would you fire you?" Think about it.

Right about now is when you start to realize this isn't just fun and games, but it will really require real time, real effort, and real work! Financial Peace isn't a light-weight plan but requires you to do some heavy lifting.

If you were to make $1 million wouldn't you spend some time learning how to manage it? What should you do with that much money? What are wise things to do? What are stupid things to avoid? What will it take day-to-day to take care of that sum? Consider that over your working lifetime, you will undoubtedly make at least $1 million. That's right. Add it up. You will probably make quite a bit more than that.

You are doing the right thing by setting aside a mere 13 weeks to explore the issues surrounding money and sound management.

Fight through the cash flow planning forms if it isn't easy. Talk about money honestly and openly with your spouse if you are married. Do the hard work to make it work.

And keep coming to class! It will change your life! There is so much more to come, from insurance, to investing, from dealing with creditors to negotiating.

Are you going to do what it takes to win? I believe you will.

What controls your attention controls your life

2012-02-03T12:39:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it doesn't pay to reinvent the wheel. So instead of writing my own post, I point you to this timely article. It is so true, and relates perfectly to our journey through Financial Peace University.

http://darrenhardy.success.com/2012/01/is-wolf-blitzer-hurting-america/#more

And that is why this 13-week journey can change your life. For 13 weeks your attention will be focused on managing life and money better - on paying attention to important things that matter.

What does it take?

2012-01-27T10:02:00.000-08:00

So we've started the journey - and it is an important one. Many people want to give their entire lives to the Lord, including their finances, but they honestly don't know how. We are going to walk through the steps together and I believe these 13 weeks are going to allow many to reach a new place in their faith.

But it is not easy. Did you catch that one during the first Super Savers session? Or maybe it hit you as you considered things you learned this week, or in reading your book, or as you completed your Quickie Budget. It may take some big changes. And change is tough. And discipline takes a lot of determination.

I have walked down this path with hundreds of people through Financial Peace University and personal financial counseling. There is one common denominator in those who win and those who don't quite make it.

So what does it take? I call it focused intensity. It looks a little different for each person, but it sometimes resembles a sort of anger, or drive, or desperation, or attack mode. It refuses to give up or make excuses. It holds nothing sacred - but evaluates everything and it makes some serious sacrifices. It often takes overcoming some fear. And it may require a tough talk with that pouty and sometimes childish person you see in the mirror everyday (don't take it personally - I see him, too).

Are there obstacles? Yes. Are there valid reasons some of the recommendations won't work in your situation? Sometimes. Have you tried some of the ideas and been rejected? Likely. But focused intensity doesn't give up. It doesn't take "NO" for an answer. It doesn't let the excuses pile up and keep you down. It keeps trying. It gets back up. It keeps looking for new ideas. It never quits. It never gives up. And over time, I have never seen it fail.

How serious are you about changing your life? What will it take for you to save money? Or to move to the next Baby Step? What does focused intensity look like in your life?

13 Weeks to Change a Life

2012-01-18T18:00:00.000-08:00

For the next 13 weeks we are taking a journey...to change our finances...to change our marriages...to change our perspectives...to change our future...to change our lives.

Financial Peace University is a course about finances, of course. But it can affect every area of your life if you let it. Use it to its fullest. Join in, jump in...it will change your life.

Thirteen weeks is a long time. Thirteen weeks is not a long time. Thirteen weeks is enough time...

...to form a habit...to change your life.

Don't just take the course. Don't just show up. Read the book. Do the homework. Think about the concepts. Apply them to your life.

Practice. Try. Stumble. Get up. Practice. Try. Learn. Press on. Practice. Try. Do it. Do it for 13 weeks.

It's hard. It's not easy. But decide today to engage this process of learning and changing. Decide today which habits are holding you back or need to change. Maybe it's your spending. Maybe it's your communication with your spouse. Maybe it's your patience (think debt). Maybe it's your accountability. Maybe it's your giving. Maybe it's your attention (as in, paying more of it).

Change your habits and change your life. Thirteen weeks is enough time for that.

I don't know what you are facing but I hope in the next 13 weeks you do just that - FACE IT - and begin to take the steps necessary to change...your finances...your marriage...your perspectives...your future...your life.

If you don't read anything else today...

2009-04-23T09:28:00.000-07:00

I ran across a couple of old posts in another blog that I wanted to pass on today. These are excellent in many respects and I wanted you to read them and apply them to your life.

http://www.leadingsmart.com/leadingsmart/2006/08/it_just_makes_c.html

http://www.leadingsmart.com/leadingsmart/2007/03/lets_give_1_mil.html

By the way - thanks for reading. I should post more often or in a predictable pattern...maybe I'll set that as a goal in the next few months...maybe! I appreciate your involvement in this blog by reading, considering, applying, and occasionally even commenting. I just wanted to say, THANKS!

I'M DEBT FREEEEE!!!! The Baby Steps...

2009-04-15T06:37:00.000-07:00

Lord,

Today, as with all others, I am humbled by the generosity of Your rich provision, by Your abundant grace, and Your redemptive nature.

-Amen

Having made the $2,260 payoff on my last student loan, today I am DEBT FREE except my mortgage - and I can't wait to kill that one, too. Carrie and I have worked our plan, eliminating $23,660 in 17 months. God has provided in abundance!

I don't think the freedom will set in until next month. This month's budget is in place and is pretty well wrenched-down. May begins the building process of our fully-funded emergency fund, as well as saving for a new furnace this fall (this has replaced our 10-year anniversary trip I mentioned in a prior post). Then, on through the Baby Steps...

Review of the Baby Steps:

1) $1,000 in the bank as a starter Emergency Fund

2) Pay off all non-mortgage debt using the Debt Snowball

Here is where we are...

3) Save 3 - 6 months regular monthly expenses in a money-market-type account for a fully-funded Emergency Fund

4) Save 15% of take-home pay in tax-favored retirement plans

5) Save for kids' college using "Education IRA" and other tax-favored plans that allow you control of the money

6) Pay off home early

7) Build wealth and GIVE!

I want to encourage you - you can do it, too!

Have a great day! I know I will.

...but David encouraged himself in the Lord.

2009-03-23T08:58:00.000-07:00

I don't watch the news too much. I stay abreast of what is going on generally, but in case you haven't noticed, the media industry has gone nuts! It is less news and more hype. I don't have the stamina to take their emotional roller coaster ride. And my life is far less dramatic than their paradigm of the world, so I don't relate. To me, breath is a gift, and it just gets better from there! To navigate this life properly, I need to keep my faith strong. I need to keep my spirit in the right Kingdom.

...but David encouraged himself in the Lord.

I know a number of families facing hardships. Some have small businesses suffering from a weakened economy. Some have lost jobs needed to support their family. Some have financial issues or personal issues they are facing in their marriage, family, or health. It is the stuff of life on earth. They need to keep their faith strong. They need to keep their spirits in the right Kingdom.

...but David encouraged himself in the Lord.

Although unemployment is higher than last few years - and I know people in this category - it is still but a fraction of the employment rate, which is never directly reported. Through Financial Peace University and financial counseling, I connect with a lot of people who are struggling but have watched their financial life turn around, even in this economy. Most people I know are actually doing about the same or better than they have been in recent years. They are doing well. They need to keep their faith strong. They need to keep their spirits in the right Kingdom.

...but David encouraged himself in the Lord.

Let's look into 1 Samuel 30:1 - 6:

The order of this account could easily have been different. It could read, "David encouraged himself in the Lord, but David and his men heard some really bad news. All these terrible things happened and David's own men spoke of stoning him. So David was greatly distressed." Do you see how the parts of the story are the same, but the outcome is very different? That is the order in which we often go about digesting the "news" in our lives. A friend recently told me that a book he was reading noted that what comes after the "but" is where we really live our lives.

...but David encouraged himself in the Lord.

"I know God is my Provider, but this job market..." "I know God gives me peace, but did you hear..." "I know God heals, but the doctor said..." "I know God grants favor and success, but I'm the one who..." "I know that God appoints leaders and that the king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, but this President..." Ouch! These sound all too familiar - and they are backwards!

...but David encouraged himself in the Lord.

Read through Psalms, or Paul's writings - all throughout the Bible for that matter - and you will see this order over and over. The blessing is never disconnected from God. The problem is stated, BUT God... Be careful not to get this reversed in your life, your beliefs, or even your speech. Your hope is in the Lord. Your faith comes by hearing His Word. "Provider" is not only a description of what He does, but who He is. And He is the giver of all good gifts. It's your choice how to respond.

...but [your name here] encouraged him/herself in the Lord.

Oh yes - and if you watch the news, make sure that you, like David, balance the news your hear with a healthy encouragement in the Lord!

How do you deal with disappointment and setbacks?

2009-02-07T09:32:00.001-08:00

I recently got a phone call that dealt me an unexpected setback - to the tune of about $3,000. It affected my debt repayment schedule primarily, which has been a big focus of mine this year. Do I need to write that I was disappointed? I think we each face disappointment and setbacks on an occasional, if not regular basis. What to do? How to respond?

These are but a few thoughts on how to move through and move ahead anyway:

1) Guard your focus.

Don't spend inordinate amounts of time rehearsing the disappointment. It will kill your creativity and hope for life beyond. When you keep hope alive and look beyond the immediate obstacle, you rise above the obstacle that disappointed you and be able to see and chart a course to move ahead. My Pastor says, "You can't lay back in a setback." Well, you shouldn't anyway.

2) Adjust your plan.

This is why a plan is so important. If you have a plan there is action you can take against your disappointment. I am coordinating my third Financial Peace University class. We are working through Week 3 - Cash Flow Planning. It is foundational to the class, just like a plan is foundational to life. We are better able to navigate the waters of disappointment and setbacks if there is a plan. The setback can be addressed - adjust the plan to compensate. Now work the new plan. It makes it much smoother. With no plan, the setback causes chaos and debilitating disappointment. So if you don't have one, make one now!

3) Don't fret what you cannot change.

If we can get this one planted deep inside, our worry will diminish, peace will increase, and the disappointment will loose its power. Disappointment is tied to expectation and can be a powerful weapon against your future, your peace, and your success. It is why so much of our economy is tied to "consumer confidence." Especially at the start of difficult economic times, very little has fundamentally changed in people's lives. But as confidence wanes, people pull back, thus creating the very problem they fear. It's an interesting cycle. Don't let things out of your control rob you of peace, joy, and right-thinking.

4) Be thankful!

Motivational speaker, Bob Harrison, tells a story that has been a huge help to me when I am facing disappointment - and it relates back to #1. Years ago his marriage was in trouble and he was praying about his wife and complaining to God about the many ways she was falling short. God encouraged him to make a list of her good traits - the things he was thankful for - and pray through that list every morning instead of rehashing his disappointments. As he did that, over time, she changed...or maybe she didn't. Maybe the problem was in his focus on the disappointments and his lack of thankfulness. In reality, she did change in response to the change in his attitude toward and treatment of her. And it all grew out of his choice to be thankful for the good things. There marriage was saved and grew into the beautiful thing God wanted it to be.

Something is going well. If nothing else, you are still breathing. If nothing else, God is still God, whether you feel like He is or not. Find these things, write them down, and be thankful for them.

5) Pray.

Another thing my Pastor says is, "You can do much more than pray, but you can do no more until you have prayed." Remember that God has not promised only good things in your life, but He HAS promised to work ALL things - good and bad - together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. That is YOU - or it can be if you choose.

I'd love to read comments on things that help you overcome disappointment and setbacks.

Be All That You Can Be

2009-01-29T08:42:00.000-08:00

Whether you are in the Army or not, the old tag line is a great one. With all the uncertainty in the market and layoffs expanding into more industries, a lot of people are getting antsy wondering what the future holds.

Be the best employee in your organization so that of all the people, they want to keep you.

I have been using a "Getting Things Done" workflow model by David Allen to vastly improve my efficiency and effectiveness at work. Anyone who has come into my office in the last couple of weeks has noticed the change. Make sure your work product and ethic reflect that you are doing your work as unto God and not unto men (Colossians 3:23).

David Allen's workflow model, along with Steven Covey's calendar management method have been very useful to me. But like my Pastor says about workout equipment, whether you have an eliptical machine, treadmill, weight bench, or the Total Gym, they all work and any one of them will help you IF you use it! As it relates to your work, find what helps you most and USE IT.

Maximize your value by playing to your strengths.

Pastor Andy Stanley writes about this in his book. The Next Generation Leader. We have a tendency to spend a lot of time and energy building up and compensating for our weaknesses, while giving little time to improving our strengths. This leaves us mediocre in the weaker areas, and moderate in our strengths. Put it together and you get one work - OK. Okay employees are less valuable than strong employees. Where you add the most value in your organization is where you are the strongest.

Most people have certain responsibilities at work that they don't like as well or at which they are less proficient. Complete that work at your best but don't spend all your energy trying to grow an area with little potential. Again, the idea is to become so strong in your strengths that your employer frees you up from your weaknesses in order to maximize the value you produce. It may seem idealistic, but move this way. You may find yourself becoming more bold, more secure, and more valued.

Don't retreat.

Sometimes you have done all you can do and bad things happen anyway. In Ephesians 6:13 (NIV) Paul said,

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

There are times when you have done everything you can do, and all that is left is to stay standing. No ground may be gained today, but "stand your ground" and do all you can so that "after you have done everything," you may be able to stand.

Don't miss the way to do this - put on the whole armor of God, even before the day of evil comes. Be ready in advance.

Trust in the Lord.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) says,

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding; In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

God is big enough to make a crooked path straight. Another translation says, "He will direct your paths." Spend more time putting your trust in the Lord than worrying about the path. This verse makes clear that He will take care of the path you take, IF you fulfill the first part of the verse.

Another verse to reference is Romans 12:2. It is my verse for 2009...I'll say more about this in #4 below.

And as always, when uncertain times come, you can increase your peace and build a safety net by following some good financial advice:

1) Get out of debt

2) Build and/or maintain a solid 3-6 months savings fund

3) Diversify your investments, including some international funds

4) And this should really be #1 - Trust in the Lord.

Back to Romans 12:2 - while so many people are stressed about the future of their job or retirement plan, we who trust in the Lord live in a different Kingdom, and we need to remind ourselves of that.

In the Kingdom of God, His Name is "Provider." His Name is "Peace."...So don't let your thinking be "conformed to this world" but be "transformed by the renewing of your mind". There should be a dramatic difference in how we who trust in the Name of the Lord approach troubled times.

Be all that you can be. Carry the Kingdom of God inside of you. Bring it into your home, your church, your work, your social sphere... May "Your Kindgom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven."

Wisdom and Discipline

2009-01-06T04:38:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! Yes, I know it is the 6th of January, but it is a new year nonetheless and I always get excited for a new year. It somehow signals a fresh start - a new beginning - a clean slate. I always try to make the most of opportunities.

But this is not a New Year's post, exactly. It actually comes from the 1st - chapter of Proverbs, that is. Proverbs is one of the most read books in my Bible. Since the chapters correspond with the days of the month, I think it is great to add a Proverb to your daily Bible reading. Which brings me to this post.

I was reading the first chapter in Proverbs, which starts by laying out the purpose for the book:

1 These are the proverbs of Solomon, David’s son, king of Israel.

2 Their purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline,
      to help them understand the insights of the wise.
3 Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives,
      to help them do what is right, just, and fair.
4 These proverbs will give insight to the simple,
      knowledge and discernment to the young.

5 Let the wise listen to these proverbs and become even wiser.
Let those with understanding receive guidance
6 by exploring the meaning in these proverbs and parables,
the words of the wise and their riddles.

7 Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

These are exactly what we all need this year - wisdom and discipline - and you can learn these through study of the Proverbs. Growing in wisdom and discipline will not only help your finances, but your relationship with God, your marriage, your relationship with your kids, your church life, and your work. All of your life will be affected.

So let me encourage you in 2009 to make reading from Proverbs part of your daily life. If this simple task is your only achievement for the year, it will be a fruitful year, because if this is your only achievement it will not be your only achievement! (You may have to read that sentence a couple of times)

And along with it, Psalm 119 (the longest in the Bible) examines the importance of wisdom.

Receive the instruction and apply it in your life. And as a friend of mine says, "Make it a great year!"

There Are Always Options

2008-12-02T07:17:00.001-08:00

So it's Thanksgiving Day and my family is driving to Wichita to celebrate the holiday. We are getting close to my parents' home when I hear a clatter under the hood. I pull over thinking something has come unclipped and needs to be reattached, but no, it is the serpentine belt coming apart. The outer two edges are flopping wildly, slashing at vacuum hoses, etc., under the hood. Doesn't look good, but at least it didn't break!

We made it to my parents' home. My brother-in-law came out to pick up our family (he has a minivan, too!) to take us to the place of our Thanksgiving celebration (not feeling so festive at the moment). He loaned us his van after taking his family home so we could get back to my parents' and return for a visit the next day. Instead of visiting my sister, my dad, my brother, and I worked on the van, replacing what seemed like everything on the passenger side of the motor (including the water pump for you Dave Ramsey fans). Total cost: $140 and a lot of inconvenience on a holiday weekend.

The advice I want to pass on today is simple, but we often bypass it in the stress or emotion of the moment.

Consider your options

But what do I know about repairing a car? It is so cold and this is a special weekend. I should spend it with family, not repairing the car. Again, consider your options.

Who do you know that could help? My brother-in-law was willing to help with a ride and a temporary vehicle. My dad and brother were willing to help with the repairs (both time and expertise). All I had to do was lay down some pride and frustration to allow for the blessing of their generous gift. More than likely you know someone who could help. You just have to ask. Whatever happened to neighbors and friends helping each other? Don't let the spirit of giving lapse. Look for opportunities to help others and ask for help when you need it.

What must be done and what can wait? I am often tempted to do things that are unnecessary for convenience. "While I'm at it, I might as well..." Thankfully, I don't use credit cards. Back in those days, I would have not only rationalized the repairs to the van, but probably a new set of tires as well! While a new set of tires might be nice, and even needed in the near future, they were not necessary to fix the problem at hand. So, if they weren't in the plan for the month, they should wait. Especially when facing something unexpected, stick to the necessary. Times of crisis are not the best to make decisions - especially financial ones.

What can you really afford? You can afford whatever you can fit into your budget for the month! But isn't this what an emergency fund is for? Yes - and no. I could have coughed up several hundred dollars that Friday to have a shop do the work. It would have been well within the $1,000 baby emergency fund we have in the bank. It was VERY tempting. Don't use the emergency fund unless you have an emergency - and almost nothing is really an emergency. If everything is an emergency, you won't have an emergency fund left when a real emergency comes along! Try, if at all possible, to find it in your budget.

What are you willing to do to win? Stay focussed on the goal. Remember, there are times when we "live like no one else so later, we can live like no one else." Even though it was in my emergency fund, I am closer to my goal of being debt-free because I didn't spend the money on labor. It took some effort, some discomfort, and inconvenience, but in the end it was worth it. I got to spend some great time with my dad and brother, fixed the van, and was actually able to budget the repair into my December budget rather than tapping the emergency fund. Remember, it's your behavior that leads you to win.

This post is not to toot my own horn, but to give a real-life example of how it is done. I run into people all the time who have lots of excuses why they are not getting traction financially. They "don't have a choice." They refuse to consider their options.

You may have to take your car to the shop because you truly cannot do the repair yourself and don't know anyone who can help. That's okay IF you truly have no options. It may not even be your car that is the concern. But whatever you are facing, always consider your options.

Make exploring and utilizing the options you have a habit. If you are willing to do a little extra work, suffer a little inconvenience, and allow some people in your life the opportunity to help, you will find there are many different ways - many options - to solve the problem you are facing, whether it is financial or otherwise.

Getting a job (part 2)

2008-11-14T12:54:00.000-08:00

Earlier I wrote about my friend who had lost his job but lost no time in finding several very realistic prospects. I believe one reason he was able to capitalize on those prospects was that he had guarded his good name. Today's post discusses another reason he is going to win.

2) The proactive approach always wins. He began his search the day he lost his previous job. He looked at all job options rather than limiting his search to a narrow industry or job type. He didn't sulk or take a break, but he took care of the important business right away. He got the unemployment insurance claim process started so that if he needed it, it would be ready. He sent out resumes, searched online job postings, and networked with everyone he knew. He and his wife addressed the personal finance side of the situation. What's more, they had already prepared for the eventuality of an emergency occurring. He sought counsel.

I often talk to people who are looking for jobs. They send out resumes in a shotgun blast and wait for callbacks. It's not going to happen for them. They don't get interviews. Don't think I'm minimizing the difficulty of finding a job, especially in a tough economy. But people are being hired every day. It might as well be you.

a) Prepare for emergencies (they will happen). Because he had prepared (had an emergency fund), the stress of losing a job was somewhat diminished and my friend had the emotional and financial capital to take some time to make a good transition.

b) When you're knocked down, get back up. Don't sit and sulk for two weeks before you engage in the process. You were planning to go to work tomorrow before losing your job, so go to work tomorrow looking for a job instead.

c) Keep seeking until you find. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again! Follow up. Call again. Learn to distinguish yourself. You have only a few moments to make an impression, so be ready. Unending persistence will pay off. Read The Go-Getter by Peter B. Kyne. It's an old book that will teach you how to be one!

d) Do whatever it takes. Lay down your pride and even your dreams for a while. If you still aren't finding what you need, secure temporary work to survive. There are jobs out there. They may not be in your chosen field and they may not be appealing long term, but when you face a crisis (like losing your job) and you aren't prepared, you don't have time to wait for the perfect opportunity.

These two posts are not an exhaustive list of what to do if you lose your job, but represent my initial observations after talking to my friend about his situation.

Getting a job (part 1)

2008-11-11T07:36:00.000-08:00

I received a phone call from a friend recently who had lost his job. It was all very sudden and he was asking if I had any advice on how to proceed without getting into a big mess. I asked him a few questions and found that he was doing everything just right. He already had several interviews scheduled and was working several other job leads. He and his wife had reviewed their budget and knew exactly how much income they needed to replace to keep all the bills paid. They had some emergency savings that could carry them for a short time. I really had nothing to add except some encouragement.

I was particularly interested in the fact that he had several interviews while others I have spoken to have had none. How did he do this? And in "this economy?"

1) Guard your good name. Understand that your decisions today affect your tomorrow. Some of the job openings my friend applied for had many other candidates who were disqualified during the background check investigation phase of the process. His good name served him well. This point is easily overlooked, especially while we are young, but consider it carefully when you interact with others, both in your job and outside your employment. You never know when someone you meet might be sitting across a desk from you or have the option of sending you a customer.

a) Treat customers well. My wife and I recently stayed at a bed-and-breakfast that has outstanding service. We made it a point to tell the owners how impressed we were with the evening innkeeper. They said they had hired her from a store in which they often shopped. Their satisfaction as customers led them to think of her when they needed a new employee. And if you ever want some time away in Kansas City within walking distance of the Country Club Plaza, we highly recommend the Southmoreland (http://www.southmoreland.com/) for your stay.

b) Treat vendors well. Again, you never know when you might be knocking on their door to apply for a job. I have found that treating others well, even when you are a customer pays off. I have easily resolved potentially tough situations by remaining calm and extending grace, even when the "customer service" was lousy. I have done this regularly with vendors with whom others rarely reach a resolution (e.g., mobile phone providers). It doesn't always happen, but often. Have you ever taught your kids about the Golden Rule? Why, as adults, do we forget the simple lessons in life?

c) Be careful not to burn bridges when you leave employment. Leaving on bad terms may have future consequence. It may lead to a bad reference or take your freedom to apply for a future position in that company. The Bible says that as far as it depends on you, live at peace with all people. And as an aside, remember that God knows you lost your job. If you truly believe He has a plan for your destiny and you trust Him, you can walk in peace even when you lose your job. To gain some insight on this point, study the life of Joseph (starting in Genesis 37).

Another recent example of how the past interacts unexpectedly with the present is a business that recently got a very beneficial lease contract. The lessee was referred to them by a person who had an association with them many years ago. Many years prior, the business had no idea the relationship would lead to a referral in the future, but when you understand that your decisions today affect your future in unforeseen ways, you will tend to guard your good name by treating people well and parting on good terms.

"Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold." -Proverbs 22:1 (NLT)

I'll stop for today. Next week I'll discuss the next reason I think my friend has been so successful finding great job opportunities.

On taxes, the wealthy, and spreading it all around

2008-10-30T07:01:00.000-07:00

Join me, if you will, on a little anecdotal jaunt... On second thought, let me warn you that you may not want to. This could be painful or even maddening to you. Ok, if you aren't up to reading the tough stuff, just skip to the end.

There has been a lot of talk in the news lately about these implicitly selfish wealthy people and the weak middle class. Now I fit firmly within the middle class category, so nothing I write is from pure self-interest. But I have been thinking...

Most people by now surely have heard that the top 1% of taxpayers pay around 35% of all federal income taxes; the top 5% pay around 55% of the whole; the top 10% pay around 66%; and the top 25% pay around 84%. No matter on what the latest or most precise percentages are because the general idea is clear, and this post is all about general rules. They do, after all, become general rules because they generally are the rule.

There is no reason in the United States today that everyone cannot be a millionaire. Well, there is a reason, but I'll get to that later. The formula is very simple.

Like I said, I have been thinking. What makes rich people rich, middle class people middle class, and the "underprivileged" poor? In general terms, the same reason everyone is not a millionaire. Follow with me...

When wealthy people make lots and lots of money, what do they do with it? Let's see...they buy nice homes (except for Warren Buffet), they buy expensive cars (except for Sam Walton), they buy other stuff, they invest, they save, and they give. I notice their names on university buildings, hospitals, and church wings (for those churches that put names on wings). No, it seems the wealthy spread their wealth voluntarily to accomplish a number of charitable purposes. So why does the government need to get involved? And anyone in nonprofit work knows how most organizations are able to do extraordinary things because of the extraordinary generosity of a few, to whom much was given. Interesting.

So I'm curious, would raising taxes on the wealthy beyond the great amount they already pay be an attempt to shift those dollars away from charity to the government? Would the government be better at determining how to use those dollars for social good than the donors who actually earned the money? I am envisioning foreign countries I have visited. They have a "strong" middle class that relies on government to do and build everything. There are no names on hospitals or other "institutional" buildings. The wealthy are those in the government bureaucracy or with close ties and they don't do much charitable giving except with public money. Government is strong. Charity is weak. Okay, so that was admittedly a rant. But it's my blog and you had fair warning.

What about the middle class? What might we do with a raise, a bonus, or a tax refund check? Move toward becoming wealthy? WE PAY OFF DEBT, right? Now that is a great answer. But it begs the question, where did the debt come from? The answer to that question can often be found in another question. Why does the middle class stay the middle class over long stretches of time? Ouch. We stretched on the home purchase, filled it with nice furniture, kept up on the latest gadgetry, and entered the process of either leasing or making perpetual car payments. Middle class neighborhood are filled with all the stuff of wealthy neighborhoods but lack one fundamental similarity - the money to pay for it all. We have no savings, our giving is pathetic, and investing is out of the question.

This one could be touchy. The "underprivileged"? I have seen many people face insurmountable odds, but make wise choices, and press through to thrive. These were most often uneducated and certainly underprivileged folks. For example, most of our immigrant populations. And the Jewish communities that have faced persecution and discrimination that have thrived with little intervention. I recently heard of a local country club that opened up membership to Jews within the last 7 - 10 years. Astounding. Anyway, so what keeps poor people poor over long periods of time? And I could ask along with that, who has seen the greatest success in actually combating poverty in the United States - government or charity (so should we raise taxes or incentivize wealth and charitable giving)? When poor people receive a windfall, they rarely know exactly where it went, but certainly it is gone. It might go to the retail shopping outlet, a car dealership, or any number of places. I would venture to say it never goes to charitable giving, saving, or investing.

Poverty is a curse. The way to fight it is to get people out from under the curse, not to throw money at them. Studies have shown that if the world's wealth were evenly distributed, disparities would return within 6 years I believe. As the old proverb says, "A fool and his money are soon parted."

Thank you for letting me get all that off my chest. I feel better now.

Now for the reason everyone in America today is not a millionaire...

Yes, if you have read many of my posts you might have guessed it - BEHAVIOR - and that starts with you, not the government (not even the president).

So let me give you a little formula for success that I may have previously shared.

Give.
Save.
Then spend.

Or, as financial expert Ron Blue testified before Congress, "Live on less than you make. Then save and invest the difference over a long period of time."

You can do it. It is up to you. When your behavior follows these steps, mathematics takes over and abundance is automatically created. No matter who is president and no matter what the tax rates become, following these principles will naturally lead to wealth and success. And what do you do then (besides pay more taxes)? As Dave Ramsey says, "Once you have lived like no one else, you can live like no one else and you can give like no one else."

Don't wait on government. And don't worry too much about government (but DO get informed, think it through on your own - don't just listen to campaign rhetoric - and VOTE!). I could go on for hours, but I'll stop. Let me leave you with this verse that stretches out over this whole discussion-

"11Your power is great, and your glory is seen everywhere in heaven and on earth. You are king of the entire world, 12and you rule with strength and power. You make people rich and powerful and famous. 13We thank you, our God, and praise you. 14But why should we be happy that we have given you these gifts? They belong to you, and we have only given back what is already yours." 1 Chronicles 29:11 - 14 (Contemporary English Version)

Read it in several versions to let the truth get planted deep within you. And remember what my Dad told me right about this time of year in 1992: "That's why we put our trust in God instead of men." Wise words.

I don't get out much

2008-10-08T10:06:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, my wife and I had some time away. We stayed at a bed and breakfast on the Plaza, ate out, and shopped. It was a fun and refreshing weekend.

One thing we noticed was the lack of quality service at most of the stores in which we shopped. No smiles. No greeting. No expression at checkout.

Now admittedly, I don't get out much, so maybe this has become the norm. But back in the day when I frequented retail shops more often, I usually got friendlier service. Our innkeepers were excellent. Waiters and waitresses were great, but most of the retail service was lousy at best. Some of the people made no acknowledgement at all that we were present.

"So what is the point," you might ask. I reflected and prayed about this from a couple of angles that I wanted to pass on today.

How to respond to poor service:

Smile. Be kind. Be generous. Be gracious. Bring light into their day. You just never know what they are facing. (You could add many more things here)

How to give good service to others:

Smile. Be kind. Be generous. Be gracious. Bring light into their day. You just never know what they are facing. (You could add many more things here)

Yes, I'm aware the two answers are identical. No, it was not a copy-and-paste error. The two answers should be the same.

Treat others as you wish to be treated - no matter how they treat you and no matter the other circumstances you are facing. Wikipedia calls it the Ethic of Reciprocity. Others call it the Golden Rule. I call it the Word of God (see Matthew 7:12; Luke 6:31). Jesus said, "This is a summary of all that is taught in the law and the prophets."

Join me in considering how you are treating others in your life this week.

Seek Wisdom in Troubled Times

2008-09-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

These days, it is easy to get lazy in our thinking. No longer do we watch the news for news, we now watch for analysis. In fact, many entire shows are devoted to analysis of and commentary on the "news." Yes, the analysts abound and we hardly know how to think for ourselves.

If you are careful in your choice of analysts, you will arrive at good conclusions most of the time. But if not...

Now I firmly believe in evaluating writers, analysts, bloggers, etc., and finding a choice few that you really feel represent your approach, viewpoint, and ethic, but don't leave the thinking to them. Don't allow your inquiry to stop there. Don't get lazy. Do your own research. Consider your "advisors." Reach your own conclusions.

Keep learning. Keep reading. Keep thinking! And don't forget to inquire of the Lord as your Chief Advisor. The Bible says He gives wisdom freely to those who ask.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." - James 1:5 (NIV)

It takes wisdom to navigate this world with it's abundance of information so readily available.

As you hear about all the turmoil, remember, the news media is owned almost exclusively by corporate giants interested primarily in profits, not news. They report what sells in the way it sells ("If it bleeds, it leads."). Don't let them tell you what you "need" to know.

One of the results of living in God's Kingdom and seeking His wisdom should be peace (Romans 14:17). And you'll not likely find that in the media, in the analysts' reports, or in the commentary. But if you'll learn, read, think, and seek God's Kingdom first, you might catch a different view of world and financial events. You might find wisdom.

"For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold." - Proverbs 3:14

The article link below is not from a Christian viewpoint necessarily, but is one I found interesting and wanted to pass along for your review as you read, learn, and think for yourself - and perhaps wonder whether civilization as we know it is about to come to an end. Note the date it was originally published. The world didn't end then either.

Economic Chronicles: The Money Mirage

Click here http://www.aier.org/research/commentaries/158-the-money-mirage-an-introduction for original article.

Seasons of Correction

2008-09-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

"...[E]conomic conditions influence homeownership. The rate [of home ownership] fell during or immediately following most business-cycle recessions, with the most sizable and lasting decrease taking place after the double recession of 1980-1982. The only recession that did not result in a downturn in homeownership was the recession in 2001, a period of extremely loose monetary policy." (emphasis mine)

- Commentary by Polina Vlasenko posted by the American Institute of Economic Research (http://www.aier.org/research/commentaries/533-home-ownership-in-the-united-states)

I think it is notable that the blowout in the housing market and economy came after the government intervened in the natural course of things in 2001 with "extremely loose monetary policy." People were overspending, buying houses beyond their means, and rather than allow or even encouraging wrong behavior to be corrected, the government did the opposite. So people pressed on in ignorant bliss until it eventually, it all began to fall.

Market corrections are natural. They fix problems that exist in the markets. They clear the incompetence from certain workforces. And they should be allowed to occur (perhaps even embraced). Corrections, pullbacks, and downturns are natural seasons of life. And like the four seasons, each passes with time into a new season. Important things are happening in the process. Lessons are being learned.

If you are expecting the government, or the next president to solve your problems, it won't happen. There are success stories during all economic conditions - and they didn't originate in Washington. Take the reigns of your problems and go to work making a plan and following that plan. Your life should not be governed by the media, economic conditions, or who is in the Oval Office. One of Stephen Covey's Habits of Highly Successful People is being Proactive. Happen to your life. Don't wait for someone to fix your problem.

Opportunities still abound in this great Land. Jobs are still being landed. Businesses are still being formed. Houses are still selling (even in Michigan).

If you have made a big mistake, there may be some consequences to pay. Take the hit, make the change moving forward, and head toward a better and wiser future. It is going to take hard work and exploring lots of options. Apply again. Make some more phone calls. Try a new agent. Keep exploring. Keep trying. Never Give Up! Persistence is the key.

A common list of the failures of Abraham Lincoln (along with a few successes) is:

1831 - Lost his job
1832 - Defeated in run for Illinois State Legislature
1833 - Failed in business
1834 - Elected to Illinois State Legislature (success)
1835 - Sweetheart died
1836 - Had nervous breakdown
1838 - Defeated in run for Illinois House Speaker
1843 - Defeated in run for nomination for U.S. Congress
1846 - Elected to Congress (success)
1848 - Lost re-nomination
1849 - Rejected for land officer position
1854 - Defeated in run for U.S. Senate
1856 - Defeated in run for nomination for Vice President
1858 - Again defeated in run for U.S. Senate
1860 - Elected President (success)

You might notice, he never gave up.

Galatians 6:9 (TNIV) says, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

As always, if I can help you walk through an issue in your life, please contact me.

Money Reflects Priorities

2008-09-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

This week I decided to post this interesting little blurb I received from Rick Boxx with Integrity Resource Center (http://www.integrityresource.org/). IRC works to "restore integrity and faith at work" and is an amazing resource especially for businesses, business owners, and business leaders. Check out all the resources they have to offer on the website. If you need to talk to someone about issues you are facing in your business and what God might think about them, give IRC a call. Additionally, at the website you can sign up to receive these daily Integrity Moments if you wish.

Megamansions: Good or Bad for Business?

Two university professors may have come up with a new way of analyzing stocks. David Yermack and Crocker Liu's unusual study concluded that CEOs with bigger houses risk poor stock performance. In the study, companies of CEOs with megamansions performed 7% worse on average than their peers, whereas CEOs with smaller homes outperformed the S&P by 22%.

But why should it matter? Is there any real correlation between house size and company performance?

Luke 16 offers a parable about a wealthy man, who decided to tear down all his barns and build bigger ones. Jesus warned him, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

The way you spend your money reflects what is important to you. If amassing more wealth is your priority, you may meet your goal, but lose sight of even more valuable things, things that are truly worth pursuing.

Just Do It!

2008-09-02T11:40:00.000-07:00

I'm tired. I've been busy. I haven't been as productive as normal. I haven't written my weekly blog for a few weeks. A lot of life has felt out of my control. So what's the problem here? ME!

My attitude, my actions, my discipline, my responses to circumstances and even feelings all have one thing in common. They are mine. I can allow them, adjust them, change them - whatever. It's up to me.

One of the things that slid this month was creating our family budget (I just finished it last night - 8+ days late). I was on vacation (excuse), then I was catching up at work (excuse), and meetings, responsibilities, interruptions (excuse, excuse, excuse)...

Cash flow planning (budgeting) is the fundamental key to success with money. A new budget should be in place and agreed upon by spouses before the month begins. But it is also the hardest thing to implement and maintain - especially when we don't feel like it.

Winning with money is all about BEHAVIOR. That's why it is so hard. If we don't change our behaviors, our finances won't change. If we do change our behaviors, our money situation will change, too. Make a plan and stick to it! Write it down and evaluate it weekly.

When it comes to doing these hard things, I often think back to what Dave Ramsey say in the first lesson of Financial Peace University: what if my child's life was on the line? It was all up to me. Could I find a way to get this stuff done? YOU BET! I could. It's a morbid question but it makes the point--

IT IS POSSIBLE. NO MORE EXCUSES! It is a question of priority and willingness to DO WHATEVER IT TAKES.

I believe there are only two reasons why we have financial distress:

1) We have made a decision that is out of our financial position (e.g., bought a home or car with a payment that throws the fixed expense out of line) or

2) We are not managing our money well.

To fix 1), SELL IT.

To fix 2), BUDGET IT.

But no matter what, in the immortal words of Nike, JUST DO IT!

Our journey

2008-08-16T05:31:00.000-07:00

We are coordinating our second Financial Peace University at Antioch starting August 23. I was thinking back over some of our journey and thought it might encourage someone who finds themselves along the way...

When I completed my formal education, Carrie and I had been married almost two years and had about $60,000 in debt. We should have been terrified (our debt was about twice our income at that moment), but I actually rationalized that it wasn't too bad. I had bought into the "good debt, bad debt" myth and the "car debt is inevitable - at least early on" myth. Since "good debt" (student loans) and "normal" debt (cars) made up most of our debt load, I actually thought our overall debt load to be reasonable at our stage in life. And Carrie trusted me with our money.

Over the next couple of years I got a job, Carrie quit hers to stay home with our new family, we changed cars, bought a house, and lived a bunch of life. During this time our debt load varied slightly, but we were basically in the same place, only we now had a house that needed a complete remodel. Now that's a great place for a young broke family!

About this time we went through Crown Financial Ministries' small group study and started getting serious about our money. We began to make some adjustments, but with all of life that happens while starting a family and the busyness, we still weren't giving it enough focus or intensity. Debt at this time was probably around $50,000 (without the house) and we were trying to get the debt related to our remodel paid off.

Let me break here to ask a question. Why had we not gained more traction? There are lots of answers that I find are common to about everyone who is struggling:

We had not broken the cycle of debt. We were still using credit cards while trying to pay them off.

We were not both intimately involved in our family's finances.

We were not in complete unity on the level of sacrifice we should make to get ahead.

We were not using a monthly spending plan.

We were still reacting to circumstances rather than living our financial life on purpose. We weren't being intentional enough.

We were not exercising the hard work, discipline, and diligence needed to win with money.

What really got me motivated was watching my kids grow up and realizing just how short time really is. The 4th baby was coming. School was going to start in a couple of years for our oldest. Teenage years were soon to follow. Cars would have to be purchased and insured. The roof would need to be replaced, along with the furnace and air conditioner - not to mention retirement and college savings (for which TIME invested is one of the determinants to success).

And since our kids were born so close together, once the first hits any stage in life, the others follow, like, immediately. In other words, most of my saving for each stage in life had to take place before our first reached that stage.

Carrie has always been an amazing wife and she got behind me on reaching the goals for our future. She became especially motivated during the Financial Peace University class we coordinated.

So, things had to change. How did we get into debt? Not paying attention. Dave Ramsey says, "You can stumble into debt in our culture but you will never stumble out." How did we get out? Focused intensity. It's the only way.

New rules:

We make a written spending plan (budget) every month, spending every dollar on paper on purpose before the month begins.

We communicate regularly about our money, making changes to the budget as necessary. Spending all the money on paper requires us to find offsets anytime there is an additional expense we had not accounted for. And Carrie is very involved in this process.

We use cash everywhere possible to hold ourselves accountable to our spending plan, make wiser spending decisions, and negotiate bargains.

We don't use credit cards at all.

We pray about this regularly.

What else?

We saved $1,000 in the bank as a starter emergency fund.

We began paying off our debts smallest to largest with a vengeance.

We picked up extra work to advance the cause.

We got very diligent about our finances.

We held off on some wants that sometimes felt like needs.

That was just under one year ago. Today, we have about $11,000 in student loans to go. Everything else is GONE FOREVER. By the end of next year we will be debt-free (except our home), have an emergency fund of 3 - 6 months expenses, and will have cash-flowed a 10-year anniversary resort stay in Cancun.

We are on our way to Financial Peace! Two years of hard work to change our future. Well worth it! And let me assure you of one thing - WE ARE NEVER GOING BACK!

It's a given for me but let me be very clear - To God be all the praise, honor, and glory. We are applying His principles, His truth, and trusting in His provision. We are given strength by His Spirit and are encouraged by His people. He is the Lord of our lives.

I do quite a bit of financial counseling and I have yet to see a situation beyond two years of hard work and sacrifice from being cleaned up. The only question is whether the family is willing to pay the price.

If you are tired of living with the financial stress ... if you work too hard and make too much money to be this broke, please contact me or join a Financial Peace University class near you. This will change your life!

Social Drinking, Part Deux

2008-08-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

One week of my life just disappeared during Antioch’s 25th Annual Student Conference last week, but I’m back now and ready to post.

In the context of the Church (maybe I should specify, in the United States), where the roots of Prohibition remain, I cannot see how one can fulfill the high calling of Love and engage in social drinking. The likelihood of offending the weaker believer’s conscience is too great. So my call in the last post was and is to Love as the highest standard. Loving by the standard of Scripture is what I believe best informs the culture. But the church doesn’t seem to be willing to Love at that level when it comes to certain issues, like the tiny issue of social drinking.

I watched an interesting movie the other night – To End All Wars. In it, you might say certain prisoners set out to “inform” the culture of their prison camp by following the most difficult standards of Scripture – Loving their enemies (who were merciless torturers), turning the other cheek, forgiving wrongs, and laying down their lives one for another – and even working hard (completing the Railroad of Death six months ahead of schedule). They consistently made choices not based on circumstance or others’ actions, but on their best understanding of the higher way of Scripture.

I do not believe purposefully moving toward normative drinking in the context of a society “changed” by the Prohibition Era would inform the culture or prevent problematic youth drinking. I think that is still working on the surface level (how to drink rightly) rather than the underlying issue (how to Love rightly). Youth must be influenced, taught, and developed by the family, in my opinion. And they have to be taught who they are so they can live that out in what they do. Without the identity, the what is just a rule. The root of binge drinking, etc. is less about marketing and more about filling an empty space or finding fulfillment in something other than the Lord. I'm not going to get into what all I believe has robbed the identity of our youth so that they feel they need to "find themselves."

Might I add that if the people of God were giving according to the Word of God (whether you adhere to tithing or “grace giving”), there would be plenty of resources available for the church to inform the advertising and marketing industries. But without that resource, the church is ineffective in that arena accept by infiltrating those industries with righteous people.

The church is most effective at informing culture as a movement. So gladly laying aside these small issues (such as social drinking) out of a motivation of Love for others, which generates unity will form into the movement that has the power to inform culture (could be a definition of a church and as momentum builds, of the church). But as long as social drinking causes a divide, that movement is weakened.

My call, again, is to lay it down out of Love for those who are offended by it. It is the highest calling of Love, to lay down your life for your brother. This would make drinking a non-issue and eliminate a point of contention in the church. I can’t change anyone else. I can only change me, and someone has to take the first step. So I will make the first step and lay it down because my calling is to Love others. Every other approach points the finger at “them” to change. Paul says, “If you have the liberty (are stronger) then you take the step – you change out of Love for them (the weaker)." It is clear enough that I know how to respond.

My point on emotion (see last blog) is that it should not drive the decision process. All believers should make decisions based on something beyond their emotions. The inquiry should not be, “How do I feel about it?” but something more along the lines of, “What does God want? What does He say about it? And what response allows me to be transformed into the image and likeness of Christ?"

Maybe it didn’t come across in my post, but my underlying point was to live up to the call to die to ourselves and live in the Spirit, whose fruit is Love. Social drinking was used to illustrate a greater underlying principle – a higher calling - Love. Drinking is a hot button issue in the church and to me, it shouldn’t be. In our culture, at this time in history, it should be a non-issue, laid down in Love, and everyone moves on. The answer to, “Why don’t you drink?” should be, “Because I Love the community of belivers too much to allow this tiny thing to be an issue.” This is what has compelled me to abstain. Is drinking the only such issue in the church? Not by any stretch of the imagination. But it is an issue. In the same way, money is not the only issue but as we address issues related to money, other life issues rise to the surface once there is focus on the big one. My attempt in the last post was to challenge the ancillary issues, leaving all to face the real issue – am I willing to lay down my life (and liberty) for another believer? That is why the overlay is Paul’s discourse in 1 Corinthians. He gets to the heart of the matter, which is not the rightness or wrongness of the choice itself, but Love – which is the evidence of being filled with the Spirit.

So the question is not about the rightness or wrongness of drinking, but whether it is the highest, the best, and the way most likely to land one in the center of Jesus’ admonition to, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and … Love your neighbor as yourself.” My belief is that in the current context, and given the entire counsel of Scripture (not one verse out of context), believers should abstain from social drinking out of Love for the community of believers, some of whom might have an issue of the conscience.

Now where it gets so serious to me is that a “non-sin” can actually become a sin if it causes another believer to violate his conscience. And that is one reason I posted. Drinking is too small a thing to risk so great a consequence.

The bigger issue is whether our lives are so transformed into the image of Christ that we are willing to die daily to ourselves and live by the Spirit, exhibiting the fruit of Love.

…And that is how they will know (and how we inform the culture) – by our Love.

Social Drinking

2008-07-22T09:35:00.000-07:00

OOOh, that title ought to get some attention!

I continue to be surprised by what a big topic this is in the church. I have considered this carefully for many years now, struggling to understand what is the right view from a Biblical perspective. The main reason I have spent so much time considering it is I believe there to be a spirit-realm struggle going on here. My first clue? It is such a big topic in the church and it has been for many, many years. Since this is my blog, I will present my thoughts on the subject and challenge the common arguments I have heard in favor of social drinking within the church.

My intent is to call you - the church - to be intellectually honest about the subject rather than emotional. Additionally, to truly consider what Scripture teaches and to live by the highest standards of holiness, godliness, and love. The Bible teaches us to "work out our own salvation with fear and trembling." (Phil 2:12). To me, this means be very careful in working out issues of faith, belief, and right living because they are issues of eternal significance.

As an overlay, let's look to I Corinthian 8:

1 Now regarding your question about food that has been offered to idols.
Yes, we know that “we all have knowledge” about this issue. But while knowledge
makes us feel important, it is love that strengthens the church. 2 Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn’t really know very much. 3 But the person who loves God is the one whom God recognizes.
4 So, what about eating meat that has been offered to idols? Well, we all know that an idol is not really a god and that there is only one God. 5 There may be so-called
gods both in heaven and on earth, and some people actually worship many gods and
many lords. 6 But we know that there is only one God, the Father, who created
everything, and we live for him. And there is only one Lord, Jesus Christ,
through whom God made everything and through whom we have been given life.
7 However, not all believers know this. Some are accustomed to
thinking of idols as being real, so when they eat food that has been offered to
idols, they think of it as the worship of real gods, and their weak consciences
are violated. 8 It’s true that we can’t win God’s approval by what we eat. We don’t lose anything if we don’t eat it, and we don’t gain anything if we do.
9 But you must be careful so that your freedom does not
cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble. 10 For if others see
you—with your “superior knowledge”—eating in the temple of an idol, won’t
they be encouraged to violate their conscience by eating food that has been
offered to an idol? 11 So because of your superior knowledge, a weak believer
for whom Christ died will be destroyed. 12 And when you sin against other
believers by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong, you are
sinning against Christ. 13 So if what I eat causes another believer to
sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live—for I don’t want to cause
another believer to stumble. (emphasis mine)

I believe Paul is writing about an issue of his day that has striking similarities to the issue of social drinking within the Church. Consequently, I think it provides the clearest Scriptural guidance on the question of social drinking. Paul's underlying premise applies quite directly. Now to the arguments...

"But it's a big deal - I can take it or leave it." I hear this most often, but what I find interesting is how few people are willing to leave it. "I can take it or leave it" infers a true 50 - 50 objectivity. If that were the case, if one felt it offended another believer, like Paul, they would simply leave it. But when I discuss this argument, I always get some heavy kickback, which lets me know the person is leaning toward indulging, not restricting their liberty.

Additionally, if it was truly 50 - 50, one would always choose the highest, safest choice, which is always to leave it. There is never risk in not drinking. There is, at least potentially, risk in choosing to drink. In v. 8 above, Paul says the choice of what to eat was 50 - 50. His conclusion? Verse 13 says, "So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live—for I don’t want to cause another believer to stumble." He appeals to the highest calling of love for one another.

"But it isn't a sin." No - well, maybe not (read I Cor 8:12 above). But this is the language of legalistic Pharisees! Are you kidding me? Is that how you are living your Christian life? Is that your standard? Legalistically avoiding listed sins? I am amazed how often this creeps into a not-under-the-law, New-Testament-Christian-liberty discussion. Please don't live your life at the low, low level of simply avoiding sin. There is a higher calling and a higher way. This one just makes me cringe (can you tell?). If this is all your church has taught you, find a new church! Be filled with the Spirit, don't get drunk with wine (Eph. 5:18)!

"But I don't ever get drunk or have a drinking problem." Although you can legalistically avoid the instruction of Scripture against getting drunk, I don't think social drinking aligns with the overall counsel of Scripture - and it increases the risk of violating wise instruction contained therein. In other words, you will never violate the counsel to "not get drunk with wine" (Eph. 5:18) if you never drink. You might violate it - or at least run the risk - if you choose to drink. Or you might say something you shouldn't while your senses are dulled (consider 1 Peter 4:7 and other verses that address being clear- and sober-minded) and your inhibitions lowered. You might cause another believer to stumble, sinning against them and therefore against the Lord (v. 12 above), etc., etc.

As another illustration, I may not have a debt problem, but the likelihood I will create one greatly increases when I use debt. I can assure you of one thing: if I never use a credit card (even planning to pay it off each month), I will never have credit card debt. Therefore, I can avoid the risk of credit card debt EVERY TIME by avoiding the use of a credit card. In the same way, I can avoid the unnecessary risks associated with drinking (getting drunk, etc.) by choosing to abstain. It seems to be a better choice - IF you can really take it or leave it. I avoid things that unnecessarily increase risk, as a general rule. Perhaps neither drinking nor debt is a sin, but if nothing else, the overall counsel of Scripture seems to nudge us toward avoidance.

"But you drink coffee. Isn't that kind of the same thing?" Uh, well, uh, uh - NO - it's not the same thing. Let's deconstruct my complex answer. Coffee is not an "adult beverage." Alcohol is. The addictive properties of coffee are weaker and less debilitating than alcohol. The social and economic fallout from coffee-holism is basically non-existent. If you want me to, I can present vast research on the problems associated with alcohol (families, careers, and lives torn apart; economic impact of drunk driving, etc.). Need I continue? I will. I don't know of a single person for whom coffee would be considered a stumbling block in their faith. I know of many for whom alcohol is. Coffee doesn't lower your inhibitions. Alcohol does. Coffee isn't associated with harmful and sinful lifestyles like alcohol is (think frat party)...okay, I'll stop.

"But I think it's fun and I don't think there is anything wrong with it." Than why do you cringe and feel inhibited when the non-drinking believer is going to be there? Why do you quit inviting them when they have never said anything to you about it? Maybe a small part of you is still fighting a feeling that it might be wrong. Anyway, is "fun" the highest calling on your life? Is, "nothing wrong with it" the highest standard of living? Or is there a call to moral excellence?

"But so many people in the church drink." "...for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many are they that enter in thereby." (Matt 7:13). Okay, that was not fair. These people are not all going to hell. But really, this argument states the problem. So many people do it. You and others are watching and tend to make decisions based on others' actions. Big risk for causing another beliver to stumble. Besides, who said the actions of others was a proper dictator of my lifestyle? The true standard is the Bible, not the conduct of others.

Okay, if you're still with me, I will be honest. You could say my arguments are weaker when it comes to having a glass of wine with dinner in your home, without guests or with close friends you know to have liberty in this area. It is stronger in the social arena or bar venue. I still believe the highest choice is to abstain, especially if you have kids. Kids are largely influenced by parents' behavior. Kids tend to take their parents' liberties and go a step farther. For example, consider your parents' use of debt vs. yours. Our parents mostly used debt for homes, cars, and occasional purchases. Go back a generation and debt was rarely used by their parents. My generation doesn't think we can navigate the earth without a credit card - or five. I believe the risk is the same for drinking. And the risk is simply not worth it for a non-essential liberty to me. I would rather live by the highest standard and increase the likelihood of safety than indulge my liberty and increase the risk. If I drank and had a child who struggled with alcohol later in life, I would deeply regret it. I have endeavored to live my life with as few regrets as possible. As an addendum, you also have to purchase the wine somewhere, and still risk the weaker believer seeing you and stumbling upon your liberty. My call remains to live by the highest standard!

"But I thought this was a personal finance blog." True, but it's my blog. Okay, drinking is VERY expensive - and on HUGE markup (bad purchase decision - always buy deals)! And every drop ends up in the toilet when you think about it. You would be better off to flush a twenty on the weekend instead of support the alcohol industry. Also, you probably noticed my money illustrations above.

"But isn't Starbuck's expensive, too?" Yes - almost as expensive as alcohol (depending upon your drink of choice). I don't have a good answer for this one except that it also has huge markup and is not a great purchase decision. However, the industry is much more benign than the "adult beverage" industry, and again, I don't know of people who have a true, deep Starbuck's problem - i.e., there are no Starbuck's-anonymous groups - so it is a good alternative to both drinking and flushing your money down the toilet. And there are no real inherent risks associated with coffee and pastries.

I end with this for your consideration (2 Peter 1:4 - 11)

4 And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious
promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and
escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.
5 In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with
knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient
endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly
affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.
8 The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But those who fail to develop in this way are
shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins.
10 So, dear brothers and sisters, work hard to prove that you really are among those God has called and chosen. Do these things, and you will never fall away. 11 Then God will give you a grand entrance into the eternal Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

If you have thoughtful and intellectually honest commentary, I welcome it. If you truly want to live by the highest standard, whatever that is, let's dialogue. I don't claim to be infallible, but I believe my challenges to be well-thought and compelling, so if I am wrong, you will need some decent backup. I can further support any point above if it was not clear enough. And I suppose I won't delete emotional kickback, but please think about any comments left.

If you have read to the end - thank you. I am honored you took the time.

I plan to...

2008-07-15T11:22:00.001-07:00

I talk to people daily who say, "I plan to...." I now reply, "Really? Let's see it." They normally respond with some variation of, "Huh?"

The oft quoted rule of law states, "If it is not in writing, it never happened." Consider this: "If it isn't written down, it won't happen."

It is amazing how we (yes, me included) approach lifetime goals and make important decisions without a plan that's specific enough to get us anywhere near our desired destination. We plan to... but we don't really have a plan.

Related to their finances people often say, "We try to save money, but we never seem to get anywhere." Again, I ask, "Let's see your plan." And get the normal reply. Financial expert Dave Ramsey often says, "Normal is broke. Be weird!"

If you plan to go on vacation next summer, what is your plan to pay for it? You need to have a plan. If you plan to buy your kids Christmas gifts, what are you saving toward that each month? You need to have a plan. If you plan to ever re-pace your work schedule (sometimes called retirement), how much do you need to save to draw from during those years? You need to have a plan. Few people like the word, budget but practically, it just means, money plan.

A monthly family budget needs to include all the things we plan to do. We plan to pay our rent or mortgage payment, utilities, groceries, etc. But what about the other planned spending (e.g., gifts, vacation, insurance, taxes, etc.)? Writing all of this down on paper before the month begins is a vital component to your financial success. Each month should begin with this plan in place.

Write it down

Spend every dollar you are going to receive - on paper, on purpose. Spend each paycheck in order of importance and due date until you have used the entire check on the page. Your most important plans should take priority. If you are struggling, start with food, shelter, utilities, transportation, and clothing. These are the basic necessities of life. Take care of them before anything else (and even if someone else doesn't get paid this month).

Agree on it with your spouse or accountability partner

Those of us who are married MUST work together if the money is going to work. Some need accountability so as to not make impulse buys. Others need the input from their spouse so the family actually has a life (I tend to squeeze the budget so tight there is no money for fun)! Both spouses have a voice in the process. Singles need the accountability of a trusted friend who is willing to ask tough questions. They don't have a say in the final decision, but wise advice should always be regarded.

Review it weekly for changes and to stay on target.

Remember, you have spent every dollar you are going to receive, so if there is a change - either an expense that was greater than planned or something unplanned, you will have to find the money somewhere else. But you are making the decision on purpose. You are making decisions based on true priorities - what is most important. These offsetting adjustments force you to stay within your total budget.

As is often the case with topics related to money, planning affects many other areas of life. If you plan to improve your marriage or other relationship, you need to have a plan. What are the steps you are going to take today...tomorrow...next week.... If you plan to get married, you need to have a plan. What characteristics are non-negotiable? If you plan to move ahead in your career or get a better job, what are you doing to move that direction? Is there a class you need to take or training you need to go through?

In our pursuit to be more like God, we have to ask the question, "What is God like?" I know one thing - God has a plan - and He wrote it down.

In the Bible Jeremiah the prophet wrote to the people of Israel who were exiled in Babylon, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jer. 29:11) I believe these words hold true for the people of God everywhere.

On the other hand, 1 Peter 5:8b says, "Your adversary, the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." It is important that we realize that if we don't have a plan, someone has one for us!

We all need to have a plan for our life and our money - written down - and it needs to be God's plan. The alternative it not pretty. I have seen estates, budgets, families, and individuals "devoured" by nothing more than lack of planning.

Take the time. Develop your plan. Write it down. If I can help in any way, please contact me.

Communicate!

2008-07-14T09:14:00.000-07:00

I recently made a follow-up inquiry. You know what I mean. I had sent an initial inquiry but never heard back. The receiver of my inquiry failed to communicate. I would rather get a negative response than no response at all. How can you just not respond?

I have found that poor communication is common in our world today. A good friend of mine says, "Most people just aren't good at communicating." I later realized he was not commenting on the quality of their communication. He was saying that most people today aren't good at initiating communication (or responding) - keeping those who need to know informed. They simply don't do it.

My wife and I have found this to be true when we host an event. We used to plainly ask for an RSVP. The response rate was in the 10% range. Poor. Like my friend says - most people just don't communicate well. It was very difficult to plan for the event not knowing whether to expect 2 people or 20.

I have a lot of room to grow here, too. Keeping everyone informed sometimes seems unnecessary and takes some time. But people need to know. People need communication.

One of the important keys to winning with money is communication.

You might be way behind on a bill and are avoiding calls from the creditor. Communicate! Better yet, be proactive. You often know there is trouble coming before they do. Let them know. Will it solve the problem? Not likely, but it demonstrates good faith, strength of character, and is always better than ignoring them. Sometimes they can work with you - especially if you have initiated. Make the phone call today.

Maybe you can't seem to get traction in the monthly finances. "You spent what!?" Are you communicating with your spouse? Most divorces are said to result from money fights - a form of poor communication. But you should be able to have regular, constructive and open dialogue between spouses about this important area of life. Sit down tonight after the kids are in bed, hold his/her hands, look into their eyes and explain that this is an important area for the two of you to get together. To do that you have to start talking about it.

Maybe everything is fine but you occasionally wonder what would happen if something happened... Could your spouse manage without you? Do they even know the state of your financial affairs? Gather the important documents, write down helpful information and thoughts, put it all in a file and share this with your spouse. Talk about how to manage the money, who the advisors are, what you have, etc. Include your spouse in decision-making and meetings with the advisors, etc. By the way, if you don't already have one, get a will (or make sure the old one is current). The will is an important form of communication that keeps the State largely out of your affairs when you die. If you don't know where to start, try http://www.uslegalforms.com. Have you done some estate planning? Hold a family meeting and lay out the general plan.

If you are not married, a trusted accountability partner is a great person with whom to communicate about these things.

There are many other areas of important communication about finances but this should get the wheels turning.

We can all improve our communication. The important thing is to communicate. Start today. Let your supervisor know where you are on that project. Tell an important person what they mean to you. Respond to that email you have been procrastinating. Oh yes, and always RSVP!

Intro

2008-07-11T11:15:00.001-07:00

I suppose I should start this with a notice that the views expressed in this blog do not necessarily reflect the views of Antioch Church. The author does not intend nor is he authorized to make statements on behalf of Antioch Church in this venue. The author is solely responsible for the content herein....

Okay - a picture on the wall in my office shows a tree growing out of a solid rock mountain top. The statement beneath says, Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow. So here I go with my first blog - something new for me.

I hope to encourage your spiritual, attitudinal, and habitual person with practical wisdom related mostly to personal finance - or something like that. Why personal finance? Money relates to just about every area of life and affects many other areas of life. And most of us just aren't too good at it. But, just like the tree in the picture on my wall, we can grow no matter the circumstance we find ourselves in.

Beyond that, I hope to help in any way I can. I happen to know a bit about this area and I believe in sharing all that God has given me. So if you have a question or comment, or if I can help in any way, please let me know. I guess there is a way to do that on a blog. To be honest, I don't even read blogs so I'm just learning how this works.

Anyway, email dshore@antiochchurch.com if you don't want to post a viewable comment.